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Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: KarateChopMonkey

 

“What the hell did my mother say to you?!” Shang HaoJia suddenly stood still, looking at the vampire in front of him in dismay, and shook his head incredulously, “I don’t think this will work, in case it turns into some kind of demon or devil, going out is a risk of being beaten up…”

“I’m already a monster, so what is there to be afraid of?” Wei Long leisurely replied, pressed him to sit on the bed in the lounge, suddenly leaned over and gazed deeply into his eyes, “My dear friend, you have really received too many foreign messages, these messages will interfere with your thoughts, thus making you feel tired…”

He subconsciously met that pair of dark eyes, but his consciousness seemed to be suddenly sucked in by something. “My vampire friend – are you hypnotizing me?”

“Well – yes.” Without any semblance of embarrassment at being discovered, the vampire nodded sincerely after a brief pause, “I learned it specifically from TV, it should work.”

“Aren’t you all known as an anti-science existence? Why would you still live so scientifically?”

He thought the vampire could fly and use hypnosis so he should at least be able to use these cool self-contained natural skills… but it turned out that he was deeply poisoned by film and television works. Doctor Shang, after recognizing the reality, not without disappointment, shook his head. He slightly raised his eyebrow and looked at the other’s face. A little meaningful blood color flashed through the vampire’s dark pupils. With a smile and a snap of fingers, a rose appeared out of thin air.

“My dear friend, vampires are just non-human creatures. There are too many extraordinary abilities, in fact, all of them were conjured up by humans, but in order to complete your fantasy, I am also very happy to learn those abilities. If you can give me such time and opportunity, I would feel honored…”

“Do you know magic?” Shang HaoJia curiously raised his hand to poke the rose, but before he could touch it, the rose suddenly exploded out of thin air and burst into a cloud of smoke.

The smoke didn’t disperse immediately, but instead gathered into a bat, which crashed back and forth several times without a head, before finally burrowing into the vampire’s body.

The handsome process was once again forcibly terminated, Wei Long’s face finally brought some embarrassment, coughing lightly and shaking his head, “No… my friend. In fact, I just asked my sub for a proper display of charm to promote our relationship. The body did a small favor…”

“You can split. Did you transform into a bat? Can you show me again?” Doctor Shang sat up straight with interest and patted the shoulder of the vampire in front of him in a friendly manner, “Seriously, you actually split. This ability is already cool, so there is no need to disguise as a magician…”

“Naturally, but bats are, after all, a creature that most people don’t like very much. The Vampire’s Guide to Love also states that it is indecent and rude to let out a bat in front of the person you love…” The vampire’s spirit was once again lifted when he was already a bit depressed, and the blood color in his inky pupils became thicker. The pale and slender fingers deftly unbuttoned the suit, and a brief black mist rose up around him, as a bat fluttered out from the black mist.

“If you do want to watch, I can help you control them. After all, although my bat avatars carry my will, they still have the instincts of bats…”

“No need, most animals are so afraid that they struggle when they come into my hands.”

Shang HaoJia blandly shook his head. He searched his pockets until he pulled out a pair of latex gloves and put them on. He accurately pinched the bat’s wings, squeezed the back of its neck with one hand, and fished out a delicate little tweezer from his pocket, skillfully checking the teeth of the experimental animal, while leisurely continuing to chat with the vampire in front of him.

“You just mentioned the Vampire’s Guide to Love – is that a book? Why do you even have a book like that?”

“Well…” Looking at Doctor Shang’s skillful movements like treating a mouse, the vampire felt vaguely weak inside for the first time, and was silent for a moment before keeping up with the conversation. “It’s a code for pure-blooded vampire gentlemen to capture their beloved mates. Only – I have to admit that a third of this code is no longer valid in your case…”

“My pleasure.” Shang HaoJia gave a light laugh and a noncommittal nod before returning the bat in his hand, “My friend, I’m not a researcher of this stuff, but based on my years of experience dealing with mice, this bat of yours is a bit old.”

“Thanks for the reminder, I do seem to need a new batch of avatars.” The vampire nodded, and for the first time, tasted the feeling of being in a cold sweat. Although he was still insisting on the conversation, the blood color in his pupils had become unconsciously more and more dense.

Shang HaoJia looked into his eyes with interest, slowly and methodically removed his gloves and balled them up into a precise ball and tossed them into the trash, “It really does seem like your eyes are turning red because you want to bite me.”

“What?” Still unaware that he had unknowingly become the subject of an experimental observation, the vampire blinked blankly, and his pupils once again quickly returned to their pure inky color.

“Your eyes. Perhaps you yourself are unaware – after all, you are not like normal people. When humans feel nervous, excited, joyful or are in a state of pain, one’s pupils dilate. Their breathing and heartbeat will also be correspondingly accelerated. But your pupils have been dilated from the beginning, and your breathing and heartbeat are just as undirected, so I’ve been working to find another clinical indication that can determine your emotions that is effective enough.”

After using the series of professional vocabulary, the vampire in front of him apparently had begun to become confused. Doctor Shang finally had a satisfied smile, and gently patted his shoulder, “To put it bluntly, it’s that I finally found that when you are nervous, your eyes will turn red…”

“My dear friend, I have to admit – your powers of observation are really very keen and have helped us solve a mystery that has always plagued the Bloods for a thousand years.” Wei Long blinked curiously twice and couldn’t help but shake his head and laugh softly out loud, getting up and taking two steps forward, taking the opportunity to have a warm hug with the other party to celebrate the cognitive revolution.

“In fact, the blood race’s eyes do turn red when they want to suck blood, but what has always bothered us is that in many cases we have no thoughts of sucking blood, but our eyes will still turn. This has caused many ladies to resent the fact that their spouses are not sincere and are full of unpleasant thoughts of sucking blood, and even once ranked with ‘my spouse always refuses to rinse his mouth after sucking blood’, ‘my spouse likes to sleep upside down on the beam’, as the top three reasons for the high divorce rate among blood couples…”

“It sounds so heartbreaking. You guys should love science a little bit.” Insincerely lamenting with this sentence, Shang HaoJia sympathetically patted his shoulder, suddenly interested in exploring vampire society. “Speaking of which, there’s another thing I’ve always found strange. Do you vampires have no other clothes besides tuxedos and suits?”

Wearing a tuxedo in modern society was indeed a bit strange, and Wei Long was wearing a tailored black suit; even the shirt was also a fitted solid black, with only a red tie. Although it looked very much like the ascetic social elite, it certainly caused a certain degree of visual fatigue for Shang HaoJia, who saw him in the same outfit every time.

“In fact, we only choose suits and tuxedos not due to any particular reason, but just because we can’t see our own image inside the mirror, so we don’t dare to try other styles easily – if you can help me pick some other attire that suits me, I am also very willing to try.” Wei Long couldn’t help but shake his head and lose his smile, patiently replied, and suddenly took out his cell phone and handed it to him with a sincere attitude.

“In fact, Aunt also made this request to me, saying that you are still very young, while my dress code is more or less old-fashioned, without the lively feeling of youth. She also said that you are in a white coat all day, and if I wear a black suit again, there is always a feeling of Black and White – what is black and white? 1 Please forgive my ignorance, although I’m trying to do my best to follow the customs, the traditional Chinese folk culture is really too vast and profound, my understanding is still only a drop in the ocean…”

“You can use ‘a drop in the ocean’ which means you have been quite into the local customs – black and white impermanence are two deities under the King of Hell. In your cultural system, it ‘s probably the equivalent of the demons that serve under Satan. “

He couldn’t help but wonder what his mother actually told the vampire. Shang HaoJia helplessly shook his head, dutifully explained a sentence, pulled out his phone and clicked Taobao, “In fact, buying clothes is the kind of thing I’m not good at. I usually find MuXi to help me pick my stuff. He can’t wait to change eight pieces of clothing a day…”

“I think I heard someone saying behind my back that I change clothes too much – so you really still turned yourself in? How did you sleep last night?” His words had not yet fallen, when a familiar voice suddenly came from outside the door.

Shang HaoJia subconsciously raised his head and saw An MuXi from the door peek in. He couldn’t help but rub his eyes in dismay, “Did you hear the devil calling you in? You now have evolved the function of speech like spirit summoning?”

“You can understand it that way, after all, I was indeed caught and sent here to help.” An MuXi nodded, straightened his clothes and opened the door to enter, then his gaze then suddenly fell on the vampire on the side, surprised to look back and forth at these two people, “How did you two get together? Can his disease also be cured?”

 

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Translator Notes:

  1. The characters used here are actually 黑白无常 which directly translates into black and white. The Black and White Guards of Impermanence (黑白无常) – two deities who serve as subordinates to King Yama and guardians of the Underworld.
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5 Comments
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Dio85
May 18, 2021 11:51 am

What! The doctor is just too much lol the poor vampire gets lost at times! I thought it was adorable how he was explaining why his eye color changed, he first gave him a winded version lol then when the vampire explained that they themselves didn’t understand, I was like what! 🤣

Aleckincaid
May 18, 2021 10:40 pm

Aiyaahhhh…it so lively around Dr. Shang..i also want to be there and observed🤣🤣🤣🤣

Karai
May 19, 2021 12:02 am

Wow, really?! No reaction? Doctor, he practically told you he loves you! But I guess you vere too bussy examining the bat…😐 Yeah this vampire sure is fast with his feelings.
Thank you for the chapter!!!

Sue R
Sue R
May 19, 2021 10:19 am

Hahahaha Mr Vampire, you have to work harder to get the emotional attention not just professional attentions. Too bad who told you to have a crush on the ER doctor.
Very fun to read those interactions. Thank you.

GaeaTaimat
June 6, 2021 8:35 am

I like the description of why vampires divorce, it sounds like an article from a cheap women’s magazine. 😀 😀 😀

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