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Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Lhachril


“Can you be more professional? This is called dog food, the kind of commercial food can only be called dog food.” From upstairs came a floating majestic voice. Several people looked up at the sound of the voice, but Father Shang had already walked down the stairs with quick steps, and slapped his son on the head, “Really outstanding, actually still grabbing food away from the dogs. Follow me upstairs, I saved rice for you.”

Looking at his own thundering father turning around and heading upstairs, Shang HaoJia hurriedly took two steps after him, swallowed the dog’s rice in his mouth, and dragged his arm, “Dad, I’ve brought all the witnesses. One of these two is a legal werewolf with a dog license, one is a wounded patient I just stitched up, and as for this one you probably know.”

“Recognize him. Supposedly a medieval vampire who doesn’t speak English as well as the new college student in our department.” Father Shang apparently had a little attitude toward his son’s legendary boyfriend. He nodded toward Wei Long and lead his son up to the second floor.

Shang HaoJia was pulled almost unsteadily, took time to wink at Wei Long, then turned back to catch up with his father’s mature and strong steps, “Dad, there is a difference between English and American accents. Nowadays, college students listen to American accents, but he is from England, so it must be different…”

“You’re starting to speak for him now?”

Father Shang suddenly stood still, looked at his son in front of him, and watched as his brain crashed, “Silly boy, you don’t need to sell him to me. Have you seen the grass looking for mules, melons hooking up with squirrels, carrots, and rabbits falling in love?”

He didn’t expect his old father to be dissatisfied with this point; Shang HaoJia cried and laughed and shook his head, jogging all the way to the office, “Dad, I understand, but can’t you find some carnivores for this metaphor? Dad…Dad – you listen to me first. Wei Long’s matter is not important now. What is important is that the vampires and werewolves are fighting in our streets. Don’t you feel surprised at all?”

“We’re not scientists. We just care why they are fighting, not who they are.” Father Shang pushed him to sit down at the table, shoved the box lunch into his hand, and instructed the police officers to take the few people behind him to the interrogation room to make a statement. “A big, living person, in the blink of an eye, in front of your eyes, turned into a two-meter-tall wolfman, stretching his neck to the moon and howling. What use would being surprised be?”

“Well – probably just, try to show a little respect for their persona…” Thinking of his husky friend, Shang HaoJia could not help but shake his head and laugh. Then he chewed two mouthfuls of rice, “My phone call with you really gave me a fright. What was going on at that time? Why did that bunch of werewolves suddenly transform?”

“Almost, and I do not know why, he suddenly aimed at me and pounced, as if planning to directly eat me alive.” Father Shang nodded, and his expression suddenly sank, “Then your boyfriend fell from the sky and jumped behind two police cars with me in his arms. The action was so skilled as if he had stolen many little girls. You can also believe this kind of person?”

He couldn’t bear to tell his old father the truth about the princess carry. Shang HaoJia vainly touched his nose, finally chose to lower his head, bear the humiliation and silently pick up the rice.

After a night of stitching, he was really hungry and had already eaten most of the bowl very quickly. Father Shang looked at his son, wolfing down the food, and could not help but frown, “Your mother made you change from forensics because your future was not good to find a wife and wants to force you to marry. Now you can’t find a wife, even if it’s not enough. But now you’re bent, how will you face your mother?”

“I…” Shang HaoJia blinked innocently and automatically interpreted the words as the old father feeling sorry for his son. But before he could open his mouth to express his emotion, Shang’s mother’s discontented voice was heard outside the door.

“Don’t glare at our son as if he’s just a pig that was easily raised by someone else. You’re upset, but why do you have to involve me?” Encouragingly patting her son’s shoulder, Mother Shang threw the test report in her hand on the table and glared at Father Shang, “Don’t mind your father. He is used to being a captain, where he can blow the beard and glare at everyone. Only I can control him. At first, I forced you to change your career, so it is Mom who did not do right by you. From now on, I’ll always support you in whatever you do.”

“Mom…” Shang HaoJia’s eyes were filled with hot tears as he called out; before he had time to say the second word, Father Shang could not help but sit up straight and knocked the table twice.

“You’re simply blind support, messing with the piano. That man is that vampire. Do you know what vampires are? In China, it’s like being a mosquito. You – you want to be with a mosquito? Not to mention a male!”

Shang HaoJia figured he could not intervene and instead silently drank his tea, but when heard the old father’s vivid analogy, his mouthful of tea spewed out, causing him to choke and cough.

Mother Shang quickly patted her son’s back, and looked at Father Shang reproachfully, “What nonsense. They are tall, long-legged and and good-looking. It’s just that he doesn’t look too good, but a little foundation and blush is about all he needs, so how can he be a mosquito?”

“Mom and Dad – you two old people first calm down, we aren’t even in a relationship. We’re really just friends, the most ordinary kind.”

Finally catching his breath, Shang HaoJia wiped away his coughing tears, crying and laughing while trying to calm the two elderly’s over-excited emotions, “My father is really right to say this. Male mosquitoes do not bite and Wei Long is also not sucking blood. You can rest assured that he and I are definitely not in a carrot and rabbit relationship…”

“Neither can you be a cabbage and a rabbit!” His father’s eyes glared again, but as soon as he sat up straight, he was pressed back by his mother.

“All right, all right, our son said his blood has not been sucked, so what are you yelling about? The entire police department will think your son has found a rabbit…”

“Dad, Mom, you two first chat. I finished eating. I’m going to the toilet.”

The situation had been running wildly in an increasingly uncontrollable direction, according to the past twenty years of rich experience in the struggle, Shang HaoJia decisively stood up, and resolutely chose to lift his legs and run.

“Wait a minute.” Before he could escape from the office, Father Shang’s majestic voice came from behind him.

Under the constant militarized control, the orders of his father were undoubtedly very strong. When Shang HaoJia, who failed to escape, turned around stiffly, he was suddenly pulled up by his father’s hand. As if he was being awarded a title, a small box was solemnly slapped in his hand.

It was a flat cylinder, with a red metal texture, slightly wider in diameter than the base of the thumb. A few indescribable brands crossed his mind, and Shang HaoJia quickly adjusted his mind, put on a straight and non-curious expression, and lowered his head to look at the box in his hand.

On the lid of the box, the big words of ‘soothing ointment’ were shining nicely at him.


Shang HaoJia was silent for a while before he finally raised his head soberly, “Dad, you–“

“You’ve grown up and have your own ideas about what to do. If you want to be with him, there is nothing I can do to stop you, but you must take precautions, understand?” Father Shang patted his shoulder, and looked at his son in front of him, “This stuff works much better than any anti-mosquito spray. When we went to the countryside, we relied on this to prevent mosquitoes from biting us. The more critical it is, the more you have to put some on, remember?”

“Dad, Wei Long is really not–“

Vampires were not mosquitos, nor was he his boyfriend, Shang HaoJia met the painful and profound gaze of his old father.

Under the sorrowful gaze of his own father as if he had lost a pig, Shang HaoJia finally swallowed back the latter half of his sentence and nodded patiently, “…Fine, I’ll remember.”

After receiving a messy education on sexual health and promising to remember to apply soothing ointment three times, Doctor Shang finally left the office in a daze, carrying an empty lunch box.

“My dear friend, you look even more tired than before. If I were you, I would definitely choose to take a proper rest.”

Shang HaoJia’s footsteps lurched, and looking at the sound, he saw the culprit vampire leaning against the corner, leisurely fiddling with his phone. Finding him looking over, Wei Long put the phone away in his pocket, his inky pupils filled with a meaningful smile.

“How come you didn’t go to make a statement? Did the others go?”

Rubbing his temples, and then throwing the empty lunch box into the trash, Shang HaoJia’s mind actually came up with the naive idea of going to sleep and perhaps waking up to find that everything was a dream.

“Before I went to meet you, your father had already taken a comprehensive, multi-faceted, and very thorough and detailed statement from me. I have to say that your father is indeed very dignified and strong-willed. If placed in the Middle Ages, he would at least be a knight with great military achievements with that temperament.”

Already having a preliminary understanding of the structure of the police station, Wei Long grabbed his waist and led him towards the lounge, “My friend, did you have a good conversation with your parents? I was really shocked when I met your mother. I’ve never seen such a perfect combination of energy, elegance and competence in a woman. With such a family, no wonder you were raised so well and so strikingly…”

“Did you speak to my mother first just now?”

Acutely looking for the source of his mother’s support for himself, meeting the vampire’s default subdued smile, Shang HaoJia could not help but rub the corner of his forehead and sigh resentfully, “No wonder my mother accepted it so quickly. What did my mother say to you?”


“It’s a secret that belongs between us.” The vampire slightly inclined his head, winked at him, and his eyes then took on some clear laughter, “Speaking of which, do you know how you shop online? I want to buy some lipstick and foundation, and a magical product of pink honey powder…”


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May 17, 2021 2:14 pm

Loving the banter. Mosquitoes ☺
Thank you for translating.

Sue R
Sue R
May 17, 2021 2:20 pm

Soothing ointment hahaha, thank you dad but did you forget I am a doctor. 😅😅😅😅

May 17, 2021 11:18 pm

Oh my goodness lol his dad gave him an ointment and explained sex education lol the whole scene was hilarious his dad is too much I wonder what WL and his mom talked about why does he need lipstick etc, what is going on?? But I did pick up that the doctor defended him at some point loving the story ❤️

May 18, 2021 1:07 am

HaoJia is sold by his own parent just like that🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

May 18, 2021 7:33 am

Comparing vampires to mosquitoes, ROFL!!! His parents are pretty much convinced that they are together, lol carrot and rabbit analogy. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Thank you for the chapter!!!

June 6, 2021 8:29 am

I don’t know how Dr. Shang came out even remotely sane with parents like this. His dad actually handed him a tube of lube to facilitate his affair with a vampire. My goodness…

June 23, 2021 9:20 am

Great chapter! Wei Long taking every opportunity for makjng his case ahah. Thanks for the translation

December 17, 2021 1:19 am

It’s 2 am… I’m currently shaking from suppressed laughter and embarrassment. I need a mirror to see if my face is red lol

Jeannette Woodrum
Jeannette Woodrum
October 18, 2022 6:32 pm

This is absolutely hilarious. My favorite chapter so far. Thank you for your hard work. I have to admit I wasn’t sure I wanted to read this novel but I haven’t stopped laughing from the beginning. This author has a great imagination; and what a wonderful sense of humor.

June 4, 2023 8:05 am

interesting takes on wherewolves and vampire stories. the fact the Wei Long was supposedly of a European descent but have Chinese name, he is hemophobic and a gay campires put me in stiches, 😉 😉

Official LMW release!

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