Under Clear Chapter 10: I Apologize

Chapter 10: I Apologize

Translated by Fefe of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Addis

Tang Heng pathetically wiped his face. His palm came away damp and it was abnormally chilly in the wind. He knew that Li Yuechi’s shirt was damp too and was just as cold from the wind. Tang Heng reached over to cover that tearstain, but Li Yuechi brushed his hand away.

“Did people say something to you?” His voice was so calm. “Lao Ren, or someone else?”

Tang Heng didn’t answer. He stopped the urge to cry after a moment and asked in reply, “How exactly was your life these past years?”

“Just, you know.” Li Yuechi turned around, putting distance between him and Tang Heng. “If you really want to see, I can show you.”

With that, he walked forward. The surroundings were too dark, so Tang Heng had to turn on the light of his phone and follow Li Yuechi. He hadn’t come here during the daytime visit. Even though it was also a paved road, but there were many pot holes and steep slopes. It was incredibly challenging. Li Yuechi walked at the front with a steady pace and didn’t even need the light.

After around five minutes, Li Yuechi stopped and said, “We’re here.”

Tang Heng lifted his phone, wanting to use the light to study the house before him, only to hear Li Yuechi’s low chuckle.

“You’re acting like the main character of a horror film right before they explore an abandoned factory.” A pause. “But this kind of house is probably the same as an abandoned factory to you, right?”

Tang Heng’s hand stiffened and he hurriedly put his phone away.

He could sense Li Yuechi’s sarcasm and discontent, even though he didn’t know where these emotions came from.

“Yuechi…” A woman’s slow and hoarse voice streamed out from the house. “Is Xiao Di back?”

“Yeah, she came for some help. Ma, go sleep.”

“Oh, you two rest early too…”

“Okay,” Li Yuechi answered. Then he turned and said, “Be quiet when you go in.”

Tang Heng was taken aback for two seconds. “Is Xiao Di that classmate of yours?” he asked. The girl in the pink plaid jacket.

Li Yuechi said, “Yes, her.”

He walked into the house first and turned on the lights. Tang Heng was still frozen in place, his messy thoughts wondering if Xiao Di stayed overnight in Li Yuechi’s house often. Then what relationship did they have? He thought back to how Xiao Di had come pick Li Yuechi up on the scooter after lunch that day—her expression with a shade of shyness and anticipation.

The next second, Tang Heng lifted his head. There was light. He could finally see Li Yuechi’s house clearly.

And then he realized that Li Yuechi had lied to him again.

The Li house was not made of brick.

If he had to describe it, the wooden walls were a brown darker than pig blood, like it was encased in a layer of irremovable gout. Even the couplets around the doorframe—black ink in red paper—seemed dull and dark. Tang Heng crossed through the door and entered the house. He saw some firewood piled in the corner. The cement ground was hard and dirty; his shoes made gritty noises when he stepped onto it.

Li Yuechi sat on a rectangular stool, arms crossed, expressionless. Across from him was a TV box—Tang Heng suddenly realized why it was called a “box” because it was indeed a 3D square. When was the last time he saw a TV like this? Probably 20 years ago.

Two pieces of old dried sausages hung from the tall beams. After being smoked for who knew how many times, they’d become completely black, like two pieces of coal.

“Interesting?” Li Yuechi asked.

“…Sorry.” Tang Heng knew he was studying too obviously, but this place made it impossible for him to pretend that it “should be like this.”

It shouldn’t be like this. He couldn’t imagine how Li Yuechi grew up in this kind of house.

After collecting himself, Tang Heng asked, “Your house didn’t get renovated by the government?”

“We didn’t qualify,” Li Yuechi said, “because I’d gone to university.”

“…”

“My mom also asked me why we weren’t on the list.” Li Yuechi laughed shortly. His tone was as flat as if recounting someone else’s story. “Sometimes I think, I wish I never went to uni, you know? If I’d never gone to school and just went to Guangdong to work like the others in the village, went into some shoe or plastic factory, broke a finger or two in a work accident, then that spot would’ve been given to my family.”

A gust of wind swept into the room. Li Yuechi added, “If I didn’t go to uni, then I wouldn’t have met you.”

Tang Heng took a step back, hitting the crude doorframe. He had the misconception that the house was at the brink of collapse; he was too.

“You know about my brother too, right? He was born that way, but he’s physically healthy, luckily enough.” Li Yuechi picked up the water on the table and drank from it. “I didn’t lie to you on purpose. I just didn’t want to cause trouble.”

“…Cause what trouble?”

“Cause you to pity me.” Li Yuechi suddenly got up and loomed over Tang Heng. “It’s been six years and you haven’t improved at all. You still fall head over heels as soon as you see me, you bitch. But I regret it, Tang Heng—I shouldn’t have gotten your attention. I was just curious.”

Tang Heng inhaled sharply, but he couldn’t say anything or dare to look at his face.

“I was just curious if you’re still like before, at my beck and call. Now, I apologize, alright?” His voice gradually softened. You could even say he was being sincere. “I’m not trying to get your sympathy and I definitely never wanted to get any benefits from you. I was just… curious.”

“Li Yuechi…” Tang Heng said, voice hoarse. “I, we…”

“We’ll pretend like nothing happened these past few days.”

“Listen to me, Li Yuechi—”

“I told you not to drink alcohol yesterday afternoon. Did you drink?”

“N-no.”

“Good.” Li Yuechi tugged on a string and the room sank into darkness again. “This is the last step that I promised you.”

Tang Heng’s eyes widened.

His vision was completely gone. His back ached dully from the doorframe, but his lips trembled. He could sense Li Yuechi slowly, slowly, slowly pressing close to him. The next instant, Li Yuechi’s fingertips touched his cheek. His fingertips were cold with rough calluses; then his palm pressed down too, the force grew heavier, and he gripped Tang Heng’s chin.

He kissed fiercely. His lips were dry and his actions powerful, as if kissing could kill someone and his goal was to kill Tang Heng. It hurt too much, but the pain told Tang Heng that this wasn’t a memory, wasn’t a dream, wasn’t a hallucination from his condition. This was real. Li Yuechi was kissing him, gnashing at him. This was real.

Tang Heng didn’t know how long it lasted for. All he knew was that his lips were numb, his chin was numb too, and his entire being was empty. It was like everything in him was taken away by Li Yuechi when he stepped back.

Li Yuechi patted Tang Heng’s cheek. “It’s over.”

“…What?”

“Everything,” Li Yuechi murmured. “Tang Heng, fuck off now.”

 

Author’s note: Li Yuechi, mouth (resolve) harder than his dick