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Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Sulo

 

Augusta was scared out of his wits. Kyfayar, what are you talking about? Is this the line you memorized from a romance movie? And Herbert and Lilianna, why are you looking at me with such a moved expression? What a disgusting feeling! Are we going to have to cry next? Why did this happen? Help! Who will save me from this sea of suffering!

Finally, as though listening to Augusta’s prayer, the great vampire Quentina came to rescue him. She announced that lunch was ready. Augusta was finally saved and went to the dining room with a fragile heart that could not withstand any more stimulation. 

The four enjoyed a lunch cooked by Quentina. During the lunch, Augusta and Lilianna talked about their embarrassing moments from their school days. Herbert laughed and the atmosphere was quite harmonious.

Lilianna and Herbert had other appointments in the evening, so they left in the afternoon. Augusta and Kyfayar took them to the door and stood on the porch, waving goodbye. When the red Porsche disappeared into the forest, Augusta put his hand down.

“She left.” He sighed, “Thank God she’s gone at last, or I think I’d die.”

“I wish Miss Lilianna would stay.”

“Ha?” Augusta raised an eyebrow. “Are you sane? Do you want her to live in my house? Do you think I’m not busy enough?”

“No, I mean…” Kyfayar stared at his toes and twisted his hands for a long time, and whispered, “If she didn’t go, we could pretend to be lovers all the time…”

“It’s more likely we would be found out.”

Kyfayar continued to stare at his feet, “It’s just acting.”

“As I said, don’t think I have any thoughts about you and me.”

“But how can I not think of you?” Kyfayar exclaimed, “Everything I said today is sincere. I hope that I will not have to pretend to be lovers with you anymore, but really become…”

“I don’t understand,” Augusta impatiently interrupted. “What do you think of me? I don’t think I have any advantages, except that I am rich, have rich knowledge, and strong magic power. What is unique about me that appeals to you?”

“Aren’t those three advantages?”

“Then you admire my money, my knowledge, and my strength?” Augusta sneered and walked into the house.

Kyfayar thought that Lord Augusta was narcissistic. It’s no wonder that, as the saying went, ‘things are like their masters’, the unicorn had the same kind of personality which it must have gotten from its owner.

He caught up with Augusta, “No, sir! I like you because you are kind to me. I know I’m useless and always make trouble, but you never drive me away, and always give me a chance. Although you are very strict with me sometimes, I know you don’t hate me in your heart…”

“Your demands are too low.”

“And I know you need me!” Kyfayar grabbed Augusta’s wrist. The magician shook off his hand, but Kyfayar held on to him again. “Excuse me for saying this but you lack the common sense of life. You can’t live without Miss Quentina and Miss Lilianna! You need my care, and I’m willing to take care of you!”

“All I need is a faithful servant.”

“I stayed because I like you. Well, at first it was for fear of being returned to Lord Cavaldien, but then my greatest fear turned to leaving you alone.”

“Why are you misunderstanding me?” Augusta asked in surprise, “Haven’t I already said that? I don’t want to have a relationship beyond friendship with creatures other than human beings!”

“You are racist! Werewolves are also human beings! Many werewolves are still transformed humans! And I’ve been in human form most of the time. I’m hurt that you don’t think of me as a ‘person’.”

“I understand what you have to say, but you are not a human being.”

“You are being racist! Why do you have to limit your partner to a narrow range of ‘human beings’?”

“Can’t I be narrow-minded?”

Kyfayar was angry and anxious. “Mr. Augusta, it’s impossible to say anything to you!” In a hurry, he blurted out, “The you now can’t find a boyfriend!”

As soon as he spoke, he regretted it. Augusta’s face turned blue and white. He trembled with anger, his fists clenched, and his eyes as red as fire. 

Kyfayar couldn’t help sticking his foot in his mouth. How could he speak without thinking? He had only said it in the heat of his anger, but Lord Augusta must have thought it was a great insult! This time he would really want to drive him away! How would Lord Augusta understand that Kyfayar was not insulting him? 

By the way! Didn’t Lord Cavaldien tell him that ‘if he insists on driving you away, kiss him until he agrees’?

Kyfayar grabbed Augusta and sealed his lips. Augusta, stiff as a mummy, tried to turn away, but Kyfayar’s fingers weaved through his hair and held the back of his head to keep him from moving. Kyfayar pried open Augusta’s teeth, pushed his tongue in, and stirred inside his mouth savagely. 

The transparent body fluid spilled over the corner of his lips and slid down slowly, making Augusta feel humiliated and messy. His physical strength was not as strong as Kyfayar’s, so it was impossible to push him away, but there were still other ways.

His right hand broke away from Kyfayar’s grip, and with his fingers that were now freed, he drew a symbol in the air, and then snapped his fingers.

Kyfayar was hit by a tremendous force! He screamed as he flew through the ceiling, leaving a huge hole in the roof.

Augusta bent over, covering his lips with one hand and supporting himself on his knee with the other, while panting. How very presumptuous! He thought angrily. How dare the werewolf?! How dare he be so rude to me! Even if he kisses me, he can’t stick his tongue in! He simply used magic to pop Kyfayar away, but accidentally used too much that Kyfayar, like a home run baseball, flew into the sky.

Quentina poked her head out of the kitchen. “What was that loud noise?” Her eyes shifted from the magician’s scarlet cheeks to the hole in the ceiling. “Did a satellite fall?”

Augusta turned his head, not to let the female vampire see his red and swollen lips. “No, Kyfayar flew out.”

“…He flew out by himself?”

“It was I who made him fly with a magic bullet.”

Quentina groaned feebly. “My God, is he going to be okay? Although a werewolf’s body is strong and tough, he was struck by your magic power and then if he falls from the sky…”

He won’t fall to his death, will he?!

Augusta rushed out the door. He just wanted to teach Kyfayar a lesson, not kill him!

Kyfayar was not in the grass around the house, and there was only the unicorn who was lazily gnawing at the grass. “Unicorn, did you see Kyfayar?”

The unicorn nodded.

“Where did he fall?”

“To the East.” The unicorn replied in a deep voice.

“You’re a big loser! If you don’t say anything, I’ll cut off your horn!” Augusta went up and kicked the unicorn. “Take me to Kyfayar!”

“Ah! I’m hurt!” The unicorn screamed and fell to the ground, “A plague o’ both your houses!” 1 After that, his eyes turned up in its sockets, and he frothed at his mouth which he left half-open. His body twitched, his head tilted to the side, and he did not move. 

“You’re playing dead again!” Augusta jumped in anger. Of course, the unicorn who pretended to be dead wouldn’t pay attention to him. 

The helpless magician could only run to the eastern forest with his own legs. After only a few hundred meters, he was out of breath. The bad results of his lack of exercise were now finally showing. He cursed the unicorn in his heart a hundred times, then recited a spell, performed teleportation, and moved himself to the edge of the forest.

The forest surrounding the house was quite old, and it existed even before the Augusta family moved here. The deep and dense forest was filled with a cold chill. Augusta shivered and plucked up his courage to enter the forest.

“Kyfayar!” He yelled, “Where are you, Kyfayar!”

After a while, a shaky voice answered, “My… My Lord…”

Augusta sped away in the direction of the sound, tripping several times over raised roots. By the time he found Kyfayar, who had fallen into the woods, he was covered with fallen leaves and mud, making him look like an explorer who had been living alone in the wilderness for a week.

Kyfayar was lying under a pile of branches, bruised and bleeding from his head and limbs, who knew whether he had injured any bones. Augusta knelt beside him in a daze, touched him lightly, and then withdrew his hands in panic, for fear that it would hurt him even more.

“You… Are you all right?” asked the magician, trembling. After that, he patted his head heavily, “I’m such an idiot. You don’t look like you’re okay…”

“I’m fine, Lord Augusta.” Kyfayar squeezed out a smile, “It’s just that I’m seeing stars, maybe a little ringing in my ears, and I’m a little in pain…”

“Don’t move, I’ll take you to the hospital! No, no, I’ll call an ambulance!”

“No, my lord! I’m really okay!” Kyfayar said, “I’ll be okay in a moment. We werewolves are born with the ability to heal ourselves, so long as we rest for a while, we will naturally heal. In the past, our tribe often held wrestling competitions. I suffered more injuries than this, and I’m okay…”

“Really…”

“Of course, how could I deceive you?” Then, Kyfayar spat out a mouthful of blood.

“You vomited blood! Ah, ah, ah, you are not okay! You vomited blood! And said you’re okay! I’ll call an ambulance now!”

“Don’t!” Kyfayar yelled hoarsely, “By the time the ambulance arrives, I’ll be fine! I don’t want to give you any more trouble! It was not my intention to say those words. Please don’t be angry…”

Augusta licked his lips in panic. “I’m not angry anymore, Kyfayar. I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I just wanted to use magic to send you away. Unexpectedly, I used too much. Do you need anything? I’ll give it to you! You’re bleeding! Would you like some water?”

“No, Lord Augusta…” Kyfayar said weakly, “If you really want to…”

“Hm? What do you need?”

“It’s because I kissed you that I was thrown away. If you kiss me once, and I make you fly, we’ll be even.” He laughed. “But I can’t make you fly, so can you kiss me?”

He looked expectantly at Augusta. But what he was waiting for ended up not being a kiss on his lips, but a heavy blow to his chest.

“Cough!” He spat out another mouthful of blood.

Augusta’s head burst with blue veins as he sent a punch to Kyfayar’s chest, and the corner of his mouth twitched. “Don’t try to push your luck! I haven’t investigated your offence to me yet!”

“I will die, my Lord!” Kyfayar was sobbing.

“Never mind, I’ll cure you!” Augusta used his own magic power, turned it into healing power and injected it into Kyfayar. “I’m not very good at healing magic, so it may have side effects. You’ll heal yourself anyway. It probably doesn’t matter if you have side effects.”

Kyfayar’s body was covered with a bright white light, and the bruises and blood began to fade away at a speed visible to the naked eye. He could even hear his bones creak and heal quickly. The pain gradually disappeared and was replaced by a wonderful, warm comfort. Kyfayar sprang to his feet, and the branches and leaves fell off of him.

“I seem to have recovered!” He touched his chest in surprise. “Your magic is amazing.”

Augusta snorted, “Is there any pain in your body?”

“No pain! No pain at all! I feel full of power!” Kyfayar jumped up and down excitedly, “I love life! I love human beings! World peace! Hallelujah! Awoo, awoooo!” He howled wildly and rushed out of the forest.

Augusta’s head filled with a cold sweat, and he conjured up a pen and a paper with magic, and recorded —

Name: Sixth Magic.

Configuration: Rapid proliferation of living cells, in-vivo damage repair (short for treatment).

Purpose: To cure an injury caused by falling.

Effect: The injury was cured.

 

Side effects: According to the wolf’s reaction, this spell may lead to hallucinations, madness, hyperactivity and impaired judgment.

 

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Translator Notes:

  1. Mercutio‘s last words in Romeo and Juliet.
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2 Comments
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Aleckincaid
January 1, 2021 6:58 pm

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

WangXian31
March 31, 2021 2:01 pm

Augusta, you really are too harsh at times.
Thank you for translating.

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