Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Editor: Sulo wants to give Kyfayar head pats
Augusta stood in front of the suspension bridge, under which were steep cliffs and swift river water. The wind was blowing, and the suspension bridge ‘creaked’ and swung as if it would break at any time.
Quentina and the unicorn were standing opposite the bridge. The female vampire waved to Augusta, and her mouth moved but her voice reached his end after a short interval, which showed how long the suspension bridge was. “Mr. Augusta! Come here!”
Augusta hesitated and cried, “Can I teleport?”
Quentina continued to wave, “What did you say? It’s too windy for me to hear! Come here! There is still a long way to go!”
Kyfayar said from behind his back, “Yes, my Lord, come on. If you are afraid, I can hold you…”
“Can you stop dawdling?” The unicorn said, “You’re not tired, I’m tired! I want to go to the vacation home quickly and rest!”
Go to your mother’s vacation home! Augusta thought bitterly. I shouldn’t have agreed to this stupid proposal!
The story began two days ago.
While cooking dinner, Kyfayar anxiously told Quentina, “Recently, in order to develop new medicine, Lord Augusta has been forgetting to eat and sleep. It’s so hard on him.”
The female vampire turned her head and let out a ‘pft’ sound, “Please, can you keep your ears still the next time you talk? Every time I see them… pft, hee hee!”
Kyfayar hurriedly covered his wolf ears, “I can’t help it! It’s an unconscious movement that can’t be controlled!”
Quentina grabbed a chef’s hat and pressed it on his head. Kyfayar mumbled, straightening it.
“Come back to the point, Miss Quentina! Lord Augusta works so hard every day that he doesn’t know what the combination of work and rest means. I’m worried about him.”
“Then tell him to come out and relax. Ah, how about going out for a vacation?” Quentina clapped her hands. “It’ll be good to take a vacation. Vacations are relaxing, inspiring, and will increase the chance to enhance our feelings.”
“Increase… to enhance our feelings?” Kyfayar suddenly became interested.
“Haven’t you heard of the suspension bridge effect?”
Kyfayar shook his head.
“It says that men and women who meet on a suspension bridge are more likely to become lovers because they mistake the excitement and anxiety caused by the dangerous stimulation of the suspension bridge for the feeling of love. You don’t believe it,” said Quentina decisively after seeing Kyfayar’s suspicious look, “It’s based on science.”
“In your opinion, if Augusta and I go on a holiday to a dangerous place, then we are more likely to become…” Kyfayar stammered, his cheeks burned, and he couldn’t speak.
“Young man, believe in science! And, if you do well on the journey, you may be able to impress Mr. Augusta.”
“I want to go on holiday, Miss Quentina!” Kyfayar said immediately. His tail wagged quickly to show his interest.
The unicorn put his head in through the window.
“Did I hear the word ‘vacation’?”
“We’re talking about it.” Kyfayar replied.
“Good, vacation! I haven’t been on a holiday for years! Augusta, a black hearted man, never gives me annual leave, bah! I knew that human capitalists aren’t fair!”
“Unicorn! Don’t spit! This is the kitchen. It’s unhygienic!”
“Bring me Augusta’s cup! I’ll go spit inside it, pei!”
Kyfayar quickly removed the kitchenware and tableware from the unicorn’s saliva range.
“Have you decided to go on holiday?”
“No, we still…”
“It has been happily decided!” Quentina, like a sparrow, interrupted Kyfayar. “The other day, I saw an ad in my mailbox for renting a vacation home, so I went through with it!” She ran out of the kitchen in rapturous delight, and the rest of her voice rang out, “Vacation home! Ah — I love vacation homes!”
As she disappeared, Kyfayar whispered to the unicorn, “Do you think Miss Quentina just wants to go by herself?”
“Certainly. But now it’s all of us.”
“What if Augusta doesn’t want to go?”
“He will. Otherwise, when we are all gone, will he stay at home alone and die of starvation? He’s not stupid. He can only live if he goes with us!” The unicorn nodded to himself and admired his theory, “So the three of us must unite! Augusta must not be given a chance to survive! Oh, no, Augusta must not be allowed to refuse a holiday offer!”
“…Do you really mean what you just said?”
Augusta was certainly not stupid.
Based on his years of experience with Quentina, he knew what the other was up to when he heard the word ‘vacation’. Of course, knowing, in the final analysis, he does not have a good way to deal with it. If both Quentina and Kyfayar were gone, then he would die of starvation. In a few days, the headline of the daily news would be, ‘Terrible! Magician starved to death at home.’
As for the unicorn? Well, it didn’t make any difference whether he went or stayed.
According to Quentina (well, according to the small advertisement) the cottage was located in a beautiful and independent valley. To get there, they had to take a bus from Radier town to the railway station, take a train for three hours, and then take a bus. The last part of the road must be travelled on by foot.
They could drive, of course, but Augusta didn’t have a car because it was not usable for him in his everyday life. He usually took the unicorn, a green, clean and energy-saving vehicle (although they would become a laughing stock for passers-by). But this time was different. No matter how powerful the unicorn was, he couldn’t carry three people. Besides, he wouldn’t agree to let Quentina and Kyfayar ride on him.
Augusta was going to use this to stop the evil plans of the three of them.
“We can’t get there.” He was right. “It’s impossible for three people to ride a unicorn together, or have the unicorn take a car. It’s possible for the unicorn to become human, but he would rather die than do so.”
“I’ve come up with a plan, Mr. Augusta!” Quentina was confident. “We can split up into two groups. Kyfayar and I will drive, and you will ride the unicorn. Finally we will meet up.”
This is it! The unicorn turned into a mobile prison. As long as Augusta stayed on his back, he would never want to walk away!
So he reluctantly agreed to go on holiday with them. Anyway, his research had just entered the bottleneck period. Instead of sitting at home every day, it would be better to do something else to change his thinking.
Quentina immediately contacted the person who was renting the home and got the key. It took them only one day to pack up, and another day later they were on their way. They separated at the gate of the house, Quentina and Kyfayar (carrying a lot of luggage) went to town to take the bus, and Augusta got on the unicorn.
Before leaving, Quentina told the unicorn, “You must keep an eye on Mr. Augusta. Don’t let him escape. If he wants to run, corner him!”
The unicorn replied to Quentina’s earnest teachings, “What a joke! I can fly! I’m faster than a jet! Can he escape?”
…Are you traveling or escorting prisoners?!
On the unicorn’s back, Augusta felt that he had fallen into a big hole dug by three non-human magical creatures. This must be a terrifying plot against humanity! If the unicorn wanted to kill him, it would be easy as long as he turned somersaults when he flew in the sky.
For this reason, Augusta recited the incantation of levitation all the way, to prevent the unicorn’s mutiny. And the unicorn also complained about Augusta’s weight all the way, from his three meals a day to his habit of never exercising, as if he was carrying an overweight whale instead of a bony magician. Why do I have to go on holiday with him? Isn’t a holiday a life of eating and sleeping every day?
Three hours later, the unicorn landed on a forest road near a bus stop. The unicorn was much faster than cars and trains (but he hadn’t used his maximum speed. Human beings couldn’t bear the acceleration and airflow brought by super high speed. In other words, the unicorn didn’t want to kill Augusta with his super speed. And Augusta really thanked him for it).
Naturally, they got there earlier than the werewolf-vampire duo. So Augusta had to stare at the unicorn for an hour before seeing a bus slowly coming down the road. Augusta didn’t know if it was an illusion, but he felt that the bus was covered in a layer of Holy Light — it must have come to save him from the fire and water!
The bus finally came to a halt at the stop. After the door opened, a woman in a black leather suit and a motorcycle helmet jumped off of the bus first. Needless to say, it was Quentina. As a vampire, she couldn’t stand the sun. If she wanted to move under the hot sun, she must wrap herself tightly. If she showed a little bit of skin, she would smoke like a steak on a barbecue.
Kyfayar, who was carrying a lot of luggage, followed Quentina. In order to cover his wolf’s ears and tail, he wore a wide brimmed hat. His tail was tucked in his trousers and he wore a coat with a long hem to cover it, otherwise people would see his trousers bulging suspiciously.
There were other passengers on the bus. At the moment, they all came to the windows near Augusta, and were pointing at the person and animal on the road while taking pictures, and being very interested. Their whispers (not really private, some people spoke very loud) naturally came to Augusta’s ears.
“Look! Is that a unicorn? Wow, it’s the first time I’ve seen a living unicorn!”
“The man is actually with the unicorn. Is he…”
“Is he still a virgin at that age? Pft, pft, pft…”
Augusta blushed and tried to hold back his urge to throw a big fireball at the bus load of people.
“Have you been here a long time? Did you wait long?” Quentina, who wore a helmet and had a loud voice, greeted Augusta. “Cars and trains are not as fast as unicorns. Well, I’d like to ride a unicorn once in my life, but I don’t have a chance…” The helmet hid her expression. Augusta guessed that she must be laughing in her helmet.
“I thought you were on your way to a funeral! Let’s go,” Augusta said bitterly.
Quentina took out a crumpled map from her pocket and looked it over and over for a long time without seeing it. Finally, Kyfayar turned the map upside down and they found the right direction. Quentina folded the map, tucked it back into her pocket, and casually said, “Just follow the road in that direction!”
“Can we rely on you? What will we do if we get lost?”
“What’s the matter! We have a compass. As long as we go in one direction, sooner or later we can return to where we are. The earth is round. Young people believe in science.” Quentina gave a thumbs up.
I’m a magician. You’re telling me to believe in science?! Augusta had abdominal flocculus.
A human, a werewolf, a vampire, and a unicorn then set off, following Quentina’s direction, down the road into the forest. Soon, the asphalt pavement disappeared from under their feet, turned into gravel pavement, and then turned into a dirt road. Finally, there was no road at all, and the group could only walk through the forest.
“Quentina, are we really going in the right direction?” Augusta nervously asked as he pushed aside the branches that had fallen onto his head, “Didn’t you say that we can reach the vacation home by car? Are we really going the right way? Now there’s no way left…”
“Oh, the advertisement must have been an exaggeration…”
“Too much exaggeration, isn’t it?”
Like a primeval forest expedition, they finally got to a place where the vegetation was a little sparse. But instead of the cozy vacation cottage that Augusta had been dreaming of, there was a canyon in front of them, with only a rickety, age-old looking suspension bridge connecting both ends of the canyon.
Kyfayar looked at the canyon and took a long breath. Augusta thought that he wanted to express his feelings and thoughts about the scenery in front of him. Unexpectedly, he exclaimed, “A suspension bridge!”
Is your focus there?!
Quentina pulled out her wrinkled map again, “A suspension bridge! It seems that we are on the right path!” She pointed to the map, which had a crooked route like an earthworm, with a fork in the middle and a line of small characters — ‘suspension bridge’ written beside the fork.
“Go over the bridge and move down the river to get to the cottage.”
“Where is the vacation home? Is it a camp of the ‘Survival in the Wild’?”