Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
“What is this?” Augusta sat at the table, with a knife and fork in hand, and looked suspiciously at what looked like ‘meat’ on the plate.
“Seared steak.” Kyfayar graciously helped him pour sauce on the steak.
Augusta cut a piece of the meat, picked it up with a fork, and raised it to Kyfayar’s eyes. The meat looked raw and bloody. “You call this ‘seared’ steak? It’s totally raw!”
Kyfayar scratched his head, “I did ‘sear’ it. According to miss Quentina’s instructions, it’s half done. So you can’t call it ‘raw’ steak. It’s fifteen percent different from ‘raw’ steak.”
Augusta angrily dropped his fork and grabbed his hair wildly, “Barbarian! What a barbarian! Still in the primitive stage of drinking blood! As a modern man, I want to eat cooked food!”
The young werewolf turned the steak on the plate with a fork and did not understand what his owner was not satisfied with. “But miss Quentina said…”
“Quentina is a vampire! She doesn’t have to bake anything to eat! The more blood in the food she eats, the happier she will be!”
“I’ve tasted a little in advance. It isn’t so bad…”
“Because you are a werewolf! You can eat raw meat! But I’m human! A human! Man is human because he can use fire!”
Kyfayar immediately picked up the plate, “I see! I’ll do it again. Please wait a moment!” Then he flew into the kitchen. Augusta rolled his eyes to the sky and lay on the table. He thought that he would be more relaxed if he had a servant in his home, but he didn’t expect the gap between reality and what was ideal to be so despondent.
Ten minutes later, Kyfayar came back with the plate. He was dejected and slow, holding the plate like a six-year-old boy holding his dead pet, terrified to learn death existed in the world.
“I’m sorry, Lord Augusta…” Kyfayar sniffled and sobbed.
Augusta stared at the dark, shapeless mass on the plate. “What is that?”
“Steak…” Kyfayar turned back and sobbed, “I wasn’t careful. I swore it was just fried for a minute, but I didn’t expect it to turn into this…”
This guy’s cooking is no better than mine! There was a flash of thunder in Augusta’s heart. This was the consequence of ‘frying for a while’? It was clearly thrown into the incinerator and then picked out from the inside!
“Lord Augusta, I’ll do it again…”
“Forget it,” the magician helplessly held his forehead. “You can just fry an egg and give it to me.”
“How can this work?! If you eat fried eggs all the time, your cholesterol will exceed the standard levels!”
You also know about cholesterol! Should I praise you for your profound knowledge?!
“No need.” Augusta got up and left the table. “I’ll have some fruit.”
“Fruit!” Kyfayar exclaimed, “How can you just eat fruit? You are so thin, you should eat more protein and sugar!”
“I have no appetite when I see your delicacies!” Augusta stared at Kyfayar’s plate in disgust, turned away from the kitchen, and returned to his study to continue his unfinished research. He ignores the lost expression on the face of the werewolf youth.
Augusta fell out of his chair with that loud shaking noise. He held up a heavy magic book in front of him as a shield. If he had not lived in the new century but had lived in World War II, he would have thought that German planes had started bombing again.
What was that loud noise? The magician looked around in disbelief. If he heard correctly, it should be from… the kitchen?
“What happened?! Did the kitchen gas pipe explode?”
He rushed to the kitchen, which, of course, was a mess. The pots and pans had fallen all over the floor, and a big hole had appeared on the wall. From the hole, he could see the beautiful scenery of the forest in the distance. If he ignored the black charcoal on the walls and the smoke all over the place, the scenery was quite relaxing!
The young werewolf was crouched on the ground, his back hunched, making a standard ‘to prevent explosive fragments from damaging vital organs’ position. At the sound of Augusta’s roar, he raised his head timidly. His face was black and smoky, and he looked like an Allied soldier who had just withdrawn from the fierce front line.
“Lord Augusta…” He looked like he was about to cry. “I was studying cooking, and I was not careful… I don’t know what happened. The frying pan… It exploded…”
Augusta stared hopelessly at the hole in the wall. The frying pan exploded? It’s a goddamn mini-version of the Tungus explosion! Even if he said a meteorite fell from the kitchen, I would not have doubted it!
“I’m sorry, Lord Augusta, I’ll take care of it!” Kyfayar had a guilty tone.
Augusta was dizzy and had to hold on to the wall.
“Cavaldien, what deep hatred do you have with me? Why do you do this to me…” He blamed all the disasters on his terrible friend thousands of miles away. Kyfayar, who caused the disaster, carefully straightened his upper body. It turned out that he had just curled up on the ground with his back bent to protect an object under him.
“Lord Augusta, please try this!” The young werewolf held up a porcelain plate with both hands, and his expression was solemn and stirring.
In the middle of the porcelain plate lay a low-quality steak, half of which was almost burnt, and the other half was obviously raw. It was very difficult to understand what kind of misfortune it had encountered before. But compared with Kyfayar’s ‘charcoal’ at noon, this was a masterpiece.
Augusta’s eyes move around the steak and Kyfayar’s face. The porcelain plate was spotless, but Kyfayar looked like an African refugee.
“I tried many times, but I didn’t reach the ideal state. This is the best one! Please try it.”
“You… This is what you were trying to protect…” There was a strange feeling in Augusta’s heart. He thought it was a little funny but was also a little moved. He had heard the saying in the past the ‘the food you eat will become part of your body, so take care of the person who gives you the food.’ Although Kyfayar’s craft was not very good — well, it was catastrophic — but his heart was full of good feelings.
The magician covered his mouth and pretended to cough a few times, to hide his facial expression and prevent himself from laughing. He waved and said to the young werewolf, “You stand behind me.”
“Oh…” Kyfayar moved behind Augusta with his head down. The magician held out his right hand, spread out his fingers, and recited a rhythmic mantra. A silver halo spread from his feet, like a shallow ripple rippling in the clear lake. In the kitchen, all the objects that touched the silver aperture were covered with shining silver light, as if someone had painted them with a new layer of silver paint.
Kyfayar was blinded by the twinkling light. He closed his eyes but still felt the intense light through his eyelids. After a while, he heard Augusta say, “Okay, open your eyes.”
The werewolf timidly opened his eyes a little.
He uttered an exclamation. The kitchen had returned to its original state! The holes in the wall disappeared, the wall was intact and smooth, and there were no cracks. All the pots and pans that had fallen to the ground returned to their original position, and the choking smoke and dust everywhere disappeared. The disaster he had just caused seemed to have never happened.
“Lord Augusta, this is…” He looked at the magician with admiration. Although he was taller than Augusta, he felt that Augusta was so tall that he had to look up.
“It’s just restoration. It’s no big deal.” The light retreated with a gentle wind brushing against Augusta.
“What a magic spell!” This magical scene aroused Kyfayar’s curiosity, “Can everything be restored with it?”
“Mn, mostly. Magical items cannot be restored.”
“Without this spell, wouldn’t you never have to clean the rooms?” Kyfayar exclaimed.
“Why do you hire Miss Quentina to do the cleaning regularly?”
Augusta snorted. “It can be done with money; why waste magic?”
“Can you teach me?” Kyfayar asked eagerly, “So I won’t be afraid to break things in the future.”
“You can learn magic if you want to! However, I think you’d better not learn magic…”
“Why? Do you think I’m too stupid to learn?” Kyfayar asked discontentedly.
“No, you can even blow up the kitchen even if you cook a meal. Do you want to summon a meteorite to flatten my house after learning magic?” With his hands behind his back, he stared at Kyfayar like a strict teacher stared at his students. “Besides, you’d better not try to make food that is more difficult than fried eggs for the time being.”
“Oh…” Kyfayar replied in disappointment.
“I’m going back to my study,” Augusta said. After two steps, he turned back and took the porcelain plate from the hands of the puzzled werewolf youth.
“What are you looking at?! I don’t want to waste food!” He puffed his cheeks.
As usual, Augusta was buried in the stack of books until his stomach rumbled to remind him that it was dinner time. He left his study and went downstairs. The dining room was lit, the dining table was clean, and the mahogany surface reflected the light. The tableware and food had been put in place. Augusta’s dinner today was a poor vegetable and fruit salad.
The magician, who always loved studying everything, had no desire to explore the taste of salads. Salad, he thought, well, let’s go. Salad is at least rich in vitamins and plant fiber, good for health and defecation. He looked around with no appetite and found Kyfayar nowhere. Wasn’t that guy supposed to serve the host warmly? Was anyone here?
“Kyfayar?” Augusta called out.
“No, no, no!” a vague voice responded.
The sound was not from the dining room or the kitchen. If Augusta distinguished the direction of its source, it was from the porch.
“Kyfayar!” The magician called the name of the werewolf youth and ran to the gate.
In the hallway was a huge box, the one that Kyfayar came in, with a roll of wide tape beside it. Through the half-closed lid, Augusta vaguely saw what was in the box.
“Are you in there, Kyfayar?” He gave the box a kick.
“Yes.” The box trembled, and Kyfayar’s voice came out, “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t stick tape from the outside. Please use your hand to seal the box.”
“Why are you hiding in the box?”
There was no movement in the box. Augusta waited for a moment, but there was no reply from the young werewolf. He was not suffocating, was he? He thought nervously.
He was about to open the lid of the box when a cry came out of it.
“Please send me back, Lord Augusta,” said the werewolf youth. “I screwed up. I’ve ruined your kitchen. You must hate me…” He sobbed.
Augusta suddenly felt weak.
“I don’t hate you, Kyfayar.” He said in a tone of teaching a pupil, “You come out.”
The box twitched. “You are very angry with me.”
“I’ve lost my breath.”
“I can’t do anything. It’ll only make you confused. Please send me off, I won’t disturb you anymore!”
“I said I wouldn’t send you back.”
The box was silent for a moment and asked timidly, “Really?”
“Really. I always do what I say.”
“But I… I’m useless. I can’t even cook a meal. You don’t want me to warm your bed…”
Don’t talk about warming up the bed! Augusta roared in his heart.
“No one is omnipotent from the beginning. Everyone needs to learn, step by step,” he said as patiently as he could. ”You can stay.” He paused, feeling that the last sentence was not appropriate, and added, “I allow you to stay.”
“Wooo!” The box burst into a cheer. The young werewolf jumped out of the box like a boxed clown with a spring and pounced on Augusta. Augusta lost his balance and fell to the ground, nearly fainting. Kyfayar was on top of him, his arms around the magician.
“Thank you, Lord Augusta! You are the kindest person I have ever met!” Kyfayar was so excited that he put out his tongue and licked Augusta’s face.
Augusta, who had been attacked by this kind of offense, covered his face in confusion to prevent the saliva of the wolf youth from dripping on his body.
“Don’t lick me! So dirty! Who did you learn this from?! Are you a dog? I said no licking! Why don’t you get dressed?” He couldn’t help shouting abuse.
At this moment, suddenly the sound of the key unlocking the door rang out. The door opened.
“I’m sorry to disturb you so late, Mr. Augusta.” Quentina walked in the door. “I found that yesterday’s recipe for Kyfayar was wrong. It was my personal ‘Vampire Health Menu’, not for humans — GAH!”
She let out a strange cry.
As soon as the female vampire entered the door, she saw such a scene: a naked Kyfayar pressing down on Augusta, the magician’s clothes were in a mess, his face was flushed, he was angry, and his cheek was stained with a suspiciously transparent body fluid…
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you!” Quentina covered her eyes.
“Wait, wait, Quentina!” Augusta reached out to the female vampire, hoping that she could save him from the werewolf youth.
“Please don’t come, Mr. Augusta, go on.” Quentina drifted away.
“Don’t go, Quentina! Listen to me, it’s not what you think! This is a misunderstanding!”
“No! I don’t want to listen! Let it always be a beautiful misunderstanding!”
Quentina, with her face in her hands, squealed and ran into the night.