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Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: KarateChopMonkey

 

Lu AnHe’s expression was very natural as he asked back, “Boss, did something happen? I don’t think you lost anything?”

He YunTing was silent for a long time, he couldn’t think of a reason, but was afraid that his pheromone would make it difficult for his Alpha subordinates. Although the aftermath of his susceptible period hadn’t completely disappeared, so he needed to collect his pheromone a little, and didn’t speak again.

The main reason for this was that the base sergeants wouldn’t take the initiative to mention this kind of thing, so this time for each Alpha’s incredibly serious susceptibility period would be treated as a common small accident in passing.

Lin Han asked back then, “What happened afterwards?

But he knew that what happened afterwards had nothing to do with him. There was no one to secretly put him in the heart and love him carefully, clumsily and sincerely. The sad thing was that he didn’t even get the chance to feel all this.

Lu AnHe was once a little hesitant to tell Lin Han, so not many details about that susceptible period were said. But sometimes the less said, the more human nature wanted to think and explore, and in the exploration, fall into it, and empathize with it.

When Lin Han got off the craft with Lu AnHe, his lips were trembling. If He YunTing came back from V Proton Star before he was still anxious because the others might have forgotten him. Now they really knew what had happened, all the anxiety turned into a fine pain, little by little diffused. His original calm and steady manner was eaten away, and he wanted to turn back time to a few years ago, to go to that even talk to himself, to tell him he was a fool to say the first words after the two confessed, “Do you dare to love me?”

While convincing himself that no matter what, it was over, he still couldn’t help but think back to what He YunTing went through in those three days. Lin Han, as an Omega, couldn’t fully empathize with what the susceptible period meant to an Alpha, but his nature and instincts would let him clearly understand what the other needed at that time.

And he also wanted to meet the needs of the other man.

He wanted to embrace him as a partner, wanted to kiss him as a lover, wanted to be the most ordinary and simple Omega, offering everything to his Alpha that wasn’t limited to pheromones. 

But no.

At that time, He YunTing had only just forgotten about him, and had to take a step back, even without help or the reassurance of the pheromone, it was better to have a name in mind to call out than to sit alone in his mecha. So his Alpha was surrounded by extreme anxiety and boredom, but the more difficult it was, the more he wanted to take a name as a support. Even if he couldn’t say it, it would alleviate some of the instinctive desire to destroy.

But he had nothing.

The silent emptiness could only be repeatedly superimposed, escalating the dry depression. By the time he buried all the emotions from unknown origins, he removed himself from his life and the two people became true strangers. The nature of his work and his own personality were such that he and He YunTing wouldn’t even pass each other anymore.

They ran on their own paths, with all of He YunTing’s emotions hidden in those blue eyes, as he walked faster and faster, and became more and more silent. Everyone sang his praises of his war service, worshiped him as a sharp blade, and eventually all the people of the Empire would remember his name. He was remembered by everyone, but he himself couldn’t remember some ordinary name that should have come out of his mouth.

Lin Han heard He YunTing call his name between movements and asked softly, “Are you thinking about something?” 

Lin Han raised his head to look at him, He YunTing’s eyes were still beautiful, even now in this situation, wrapped in lust. He could only stare at his eyes. He knew what he was doing now, and even though the Alpha’s sanity could almost be called thin in this situation, He YunTing was still acutely aware of his emotions and slowed down his movements to ask him this question.

Lin Han shook his head and went up to take a bite of the other man’s Adam’s apple, but worried that the position was too far up and he didn’t dare to force himself. So his lips went down, as if he was punishing him for being distracted, and said in a small voice, “It’s nothing.”

He was glad that He YunTing didn’t have the ability to read minds, but now he felt that the other didn’t need this ability at all to easily detect his emotions. Lin Han climbed up the other’s back with his hands, wrapped his legs around his waist. He subconsciously stomped off the fabric that was in the way at his calves, and couldn’t help but look at his unclothed body again.

Lin Han grew up with a poor physique, basically didn’t exercise properly. At such times, his complexion was white and frail. He YunTing was different, his skin tone was darker, and even had an extra inch of muscle that Lin Han liked. After years of training and harsh battle, although He YunTing wasn’t all scars, his body still had deep or shallow scars. He saw the long scar on He YunTing’s right shoulder. 

When they first met, his wound wasn’t fully healed, but it was deliberately hit by a Burning Blood Omega similar to Qi JiaZe, which was arranged to break the wound and still seeping blood, but still pretended that nothing happened, with a cold face.

Lin Han went closer and, with his lips, he kissed the scar.

He YunTing’s shoulders were covered with thin sweat, and after feeling Lin Han’s action, he gasped, “It stopped hurting a long time ago.” Lin Han held his arms a little harder, feeling the other’s presence more deeply, and heard him say, “But suddenly I remembered that the situation wasn’t favorable.”

Lin Han naturally knew that, after all, with He YunTing’s control of the battlefield and responsiveness, the scene that required a whole mecha arm to be cut off must have been very dangerous. He YunTing seemed to want to get up at this moment and separate from him a little, but in the end did not do so.

He didn’t finish the rest of his words, but Lin Han’s entire body seemed to be embedded in him, and he still heard He YunTing’s slight hesitation.

【I was injured because of inertia and impact, and a thought flashed through my mind at that moment.】

【I never felt that there was anything scary about death, but when the main screen shattered, the data box automatically popped up with a recorded message.】

【If I die like this, someone will cry.】

“I will cry.” Lin Han replied with little thought.

Even though the possibility of such an assumption was too low, he hadn’t met the other at that time, nor was he aware the long-buried memory, and the deep love that no one knew about. His voice, which had already been battered with a thin, soft sound from He YunTing’s movements, now sounded more like a low, self-explanatory whisper.

“I’m not your soldier, just a crybaby coward.”

Lin Han heard this, but felt a little embarrassed, as if he did have more tears after meeting He YunTing, from the day the other party stood on his floor for several nights, his tear glands seem to be inexplicably developed, “It’s not like I haven’t cried before.”

He felt that today’s He YunTing was too gentle, originally eager as he entered the room, but gradually became lighter after discovering his emotions.

“Then you…” Lin Han moved his lips, just wanted to ask, then do you remember your susceptible period three years ago?

The words were swallowed by him, he couldn’t wait for the memories of the susceptible period to disappear completely in He YunTing’s brain, not to think about it again and suffer another ordeal.

“Forget it.” Lin Han hooked He YunTing’s neck and pressed him towards himself, “Just kiss me more.”

He recalled that He YunTing’s resistance before, should also be related to that period of susceptibility. After all, the period of susceptibility was associated with too many things with sex. There was nothing to be ashamed of in terms of desire.

He didn’t know what happened to cause his subconscious hesitation.

But the good thing was that it was all resolved.

Now technology was really advanced, people could operate mechas and could voyage through space. Everything was in order. Information technology had reached unprecedented heights, and they had overcome certain laws that had been used for centuries to survive in a whole new way.

Other research had also progressed, such as how memory could be stored, even through various forms of storage. But no matter how these things progressed, humans were still humans. Even if the general public lifespan had been extended, their bodies were still very fragile.

A little sharp object could pierce the finger and make it ooze blood, and a little simple emotion could bring tears to the eyes. Lin Han thought, if things were a little more developed, was it possible for him to go back to a few years ago and take a little initiative to find He YunTing?

All the love he wanted in his life had been responded to, while He YunTing’s was left unfulfilled.

He insisted on what seemed the most difficult, if possible, Lin Han would like to find He YunTing earlier, talk to him, smile at him more, anything was fine with him.

“It’s not bitter.” He YunTing but suddenly opened his mouth.

Lin Han didn’t understand for a moment.

He YunTing’s tone became soft, and even though he still didn’t get back that memory that belonged to him, he seemed to be able to resonate with his thoughts from that time, telling Lin Han, “Mr. Lin can persevere alone until now, how can you be a coward? So, my crush wasn’t bitter.”

He seemed to be thinking seriously, guessing his state of mind at that time, finishing the sentence he had just made up. It didn’t matter if he didn’t have a response, his heart only wanted to hide him, and how could he waste time looking back on the bitterness?

“Just the thought of being able to love you so much, even if I walk in the very darkest night, I can see light.”

It was late at night, and Grr had accepted the fact that the bedroom door might not be opened until tomorrow, so it sat in a ball, quietly retreating to the TV. Lin Han looked tired, his limbs were limp and weak.

“Shall I carry you to wash up?” He YunTing extended his hand towards Lin Han, wanting him to grab his arm so he could pick him up and walk towards the bathroom. 

Although Lin Han’s whole body was limp, he was cheating, deliberately not allowing him to pull him up, “Wait a minute.”

He YunTing asked, “Are you uncomfortable?”

“No.” Lin Han’s hair was a little wet, and he motioned with his hand for He YunTing to come closer, like he wanted to whisper something.

He YunTing obeyed him to bend down, the side of his face close to Lin Han’s lips, and thought he was going to say something. Lin Han took advantage of his lowered head and dragged him toward the bed, and took the other man’s earlobe in this position.

“I’m not in heat, there may be a good while,” Lin Han’s voice was still clear, as if the words did not come from his mouth, “At least tonight, take me to forget about this, okay?”

There was no way he wasn’t heartbroken and pretend that nothing had happened. But he still wanted to tell this to He YunTing. 

There was no need to mediate with yourself or to be too attached to the missed time.

I’m right in front of you.

“Lin Han.” After an unknown amount of time, so long that Lin Han felt that the slight vocalization was so mute that he could hardly open his eyes, he heard the other’s serious and quiet voice. “Accompany me… Let’s go to the Exhibition Hall.”

He YunTing actually didn’t lie. He did worry about all sorts of things, like what would happen if he got his memories back, and whether there would be new difficulties between them. But when he thought about it, there was nothing to be afraid of. He also did think that he wasn’t suffering from his secret love.

He originally divided love and sex into two halves, Lin Han thought that the Institute’s uniform represented beauty and purity, while sex was like being an animal. The compromise of desire and instinct was ugly and shouldn’t be defiled.

But tonight they said almost everything, and he was able to possess and love again and again and again.

So he really felt that secret affections weren’t bitter.

Even though he never had the other’s teenage years, he really held this light that only belonged to him. Step by step, he came out of the darkness and walked to where he could see him.

Mind reading is a great ability, He YunTing thought.

 

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WangXian31
June 12, 2022 9:52 am

I have to admit that I have found and find, sone of the dialogue and text confusing. Like who is actually doing the talking or specific thinking.
Even though it’s occasionally challenging, I really love this story. Thank you so much.

Springek
June 21, 2022 8:33 pm

Thanks for the chapter!

Best novel on ExR (as voted by fans)

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