Translated by J.
The burglar sprinted away like a gust of wind, far exceeding the speed that could be achieved by any ordinary human. While Ye Xi was being carried by the burglar, everything on either side of him turned into two blurry streams of colour. The chaotic cacophony of cries from the earlier scene had vanished a short while later. After a few more leaps with Ye Xi in his arms, the burglar came to a firm stop.
Ye Xi focused his eyes and saw Young Master Huangfu’s 24K golden helicopter parked in a clearing between the woods. The clearing was surrounded by giant trees, which served as suitable cover. If one did not know beforehand that the stolen helicopter was here, it would have been very difficult to spot.
The cabin door was open. Unhurriedly, the burglar set Ye Xi down, then gracefully extended his hand towards the helicopter, “After you.”
Dark clouds gathered along the sky above, a drizzle of rain began to fall as the thunder and lightning from earlier continued in the background. Unless the burglar wanted to get himself killed, he would not take off immediately. Feeling relieved, Ye Xi sat down inside the helicopter.
As expected, the burglar bent down and followed Ye Xi into the cabin, then sat down next to him. He wore an appreciative look on his handsome but wicked face. With the corners of his cat eyes slightly curved, he looked as if he found Ye Xi immensely interesting.
“We’ll wait here, since the helicopter can’t lift off right now.” The burglar sat with one leg crossed over the other and rested the back of his head on his hands. Looking rather pleased with himself, he quipped, “It’s not like those idiots will find us anytime soon. Even if they do, they won’t be able to catch us.”
Ye Xi sat in a docile pose, “Okay.”
Looking askance at Ye Xi, the burglar broke into a wide grin as spoke in a flippant tone, “With an innocent face like yours, who would’ve thought the Little Master Murong is quite the player.”
Ye Xi batted his eyes innocuously, “What do you mean?”
“Tsk, tsk, don’t play dumb with me.” The burglar turned to face Ye Xi, he grabbed onto the back of the reclining chair next to Ye Xi, confining him to the crook of his arm, “Why were those three people grabbing onto you earlier?”
Ye Xi calmly replied, “They were splitting Spring Festival presents?”1
The burglar roared with laughter, “Hahaha, you little liar!”
As Ye Xi summoned all of his brain cells to analyse the burglar’s facial expression, a fantastical notion fleeted across his mind.
“Spill,” The burglar elbowed Ye Xi like an old friend. With a gleam in his eyes and an enticing tone, he urged, “Are you just taunting those fools? Tsk, using your adorable look to reel them in, only to cold-heartedly toss them away later?”
Ye Xi licked his lips and laboured to turn the gears in his brain.
The burglar’s moral compass seems to be completely broken. He’s also one of the smartest characters from the original novel. He’s not that interested in innocent little bunnies, but he fell in love with that Mary Sue sub from the original novel, so he’s obviously attracted to some part of him.
If I follow this logic, the only reasonable explanation must be: the burglar thinks the sub is a green tea hussy2 dressed up as a little white bunny! And regardless of the author’s intentions, the sub definitely left this impression on the readers. Only the male lead and the male extras whose IQs nosedive when they see the sub don’t realise this…
Since I can’t conquer the burglar via normal means, maybe I should follow his lead. Wouldn’t it be super-duper amazing if I were right?
Ye Xi’s eyes darted around a couple of times as he brainstormed. Then through gritted teeth, he put his foot down and decided to confess to the allegation.
“Aiyah, you saw right through me.” Ye Xi replied in a super annoying high-pitched voice.
A knowing look appeared over the burglar’s face. With a theatrical voice, he complimented, “Aiyah! Respect! So, you’re a little black sesame dumpling3 after all.”
Ye Xi humbly dismissed the compliment with a wave, “You flatter me.”
With a solemn expression, the burglar shook his head and admonished disingenuously, “You little rascal. It’s wrong to play with other people’s feelings you know.”
Ye Xi arched his brow, “I disagree. I believe we’re in the same business.”
The burglar widened his eyes, “Oh?”
“You like to steal things and I like to steal hearts.” Ye Xi smiled warmly as he spoke. Since he was not acting at all, his smile was innocent and adorable. But in the eyes of the burglar, it was a demonstration of Ye Xi’s superb acting skills.
The burglar chuckled as a rare seriousness appeared on his face, “So tell me, why are you doing this?”
The burglar did not seem to lack money, it was as if he stole because he actually enjoyed stealing. Ye Xi mused for a moment with a furrowed brow, then in keeping with the burglar’s sense of morality, Ye Xi replied apprehensively, “I do it for fun?”
“Hahaha!” The burglar guffawed while slapping his thigh. After laughing for quite some time, he suddenly bent over with his nose almost touching Ye Xi’s, then teased in a tone mixed with both admiration and infatuation, “Aren’t you a devious little villain? Rotten to the core.”
Looks like he’s coming around! Ye Xi revealed an innocent smile, “Likewise.”
The burglar gave him a thumbs up, “Your ingénue act is truly brilliant, you have a bright future ahead of you.”
Since Ye Xi had not really been acting, he blushed a little from the praise.
The burglar exclaimed, “Good heavens, you can even fake-blush!”
Ye Xi, “…”
“I really like you as a black sesame dumpling…” With his irreverent gaze, the burglar scanned Ye Xi from head to toe as he stroked his chin. Then suddenly changing the subject, he suggested, “So, do you want to have sex together?”
His tone was as casual and nonchalant as ‘do you want to have dinner together’ or ‘do you want to watch a movie together.’ It seemed like a suggestion that could not have been more ordinary or mundane.
Ye Xi’s jaw almost dropped to the ground from shock.
1. Due to the burglar’s absurd suggestion.
2. Because the successful male conquest announcement had sounded in his ear as soon as the burglar finished speaking.
Ye Xi, “…”
So the burglar’s blatant sexual harassment counts as a fuckin’ confession of love?!
Perhaps due to the burglar being the only one out of the 99 male extras where he had to apply reverse psychology, like the admiral, the system gave Ye Xi the highest possible reward of 50,000 experience points.
“How about it?” The burglar uttered a soft, seductive whisper, “Doing it in your fiancé’s private helicopter on top of the cabin seat he had sat in countless times, with an S-class fugitive wanted by over a thousand nations, wouldn’t that be super exciting? If your fiancé finds out, he’ll definitely blow a gasket. Wouldn’t you like that?”
The corner of Ye Xi’s mouth twitched. Since Ye Xi had already received his reward, he no longer had a reason to play along with the burglar, so he replied honestly, “Actually, no.”
You don’t know how scary our Chief Executive gets when he’s angry! It’s no skin off your nose!
“Quit playing hard to get.” The burglar lifted up Ye Xi’s chin and batted his eyes amorously, “Come on.”
With foresight, Ye Xi calmly raised up his knees in front of the burglar’s chest to place some distance between them. Then in furious defence of his chastity, Ye Xi exclaimed “No way!”
- Reference to the tradition of gift-giving during the Chinese New Year. In contrast to Christmas presents, where each present is uniquely labelled and given to a single person, Chinese New Year presents consisting of snacks and small goods are usually all piled onto a table, then divided between family members.
- See footnote from Chapter 8
- Reference to tangyuan, a Chinese mochi-like desert that is white on the outside and black on the inside.