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Translated by J. of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Addis

Ye Xi retorted, “What if I need to use the bathroom?”

The bodyguard, “Sorry, then we’ll have to escort you.”

Ye Xi imagined a long procession of bodyguards following him to the bathroom, then standing in a circle to watch him pee rainbows into the diamond toilet. He suddenly felt light-headed.

Ye Xi recanted, “I don’t need to go anymore.” 

“Little Master…” The butler glanced at him meaningfully, “Please let me know if you need anything…anything at all.”

Ye Xi immediately imagined a scene from a TV drama where the butler eloped with the little master. Then he beckoned the butler over with a curved finger, “You, come here.”

The butler walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He lowered his head respectfully and asked, “What are your orders, Little Master?”

Ye Xi nervously rubbed his hands. In his eyes, the handsome butler had all but turned into shiny experience points.

The butler watched Ye Xi attentively, waiting for his orders.

Ye Xi looked back at the butler with the face of an innocent child. As a somewhat clumsy heterosexual male with a non-existent dating history 1, Ye Xi did not even have any experience courting women, let alone men.

I can only think of asking a girl out to dinner and a movie, I don’t know how to do anything else! What should I do?

Ye Xi fumbled awkwardly for quite a while. He hummed and hawed to the point where he did not even recognise the words coming out of his mouth, “Me…you…”

Hey buddy, I’d really like to seduce you right now. If it’s not too much trouble, could you please profess your love for me so I can earn a bunch of experience points, then help me escape on your way out?

…I don’t think that’s quite how it works!

They stared at each other for a long while. The butler suddenly revealed a gentle smile, “Little Master, are you displeased with your upcoming nuptials?”

Ye Xi nodded vigorously from the bottom of his heart.

The butler took a step forward and spoke in a soft voice, “I would also be…crushed to see you marry Huangfu. While we grew up together, I existed only to serve you. If you weren’t here anymore, I-I wouldn’t know what I would do…” The butler took another step forward, closing the distance between them to mere centimetres.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly became highly ambiguous.

So, Ye Xi clenched his teeth, stamped his foot and took a step backward.

“…” The butler drooped his shoulders in disappointment, “I didn’t mean to overstep my bounds, Young Master. I’m sorry.” He turned around, ready to leave.

“Don’t go.” Ye Xi anxiously grabbed the butler’s arm. Despondent from his rejection, the butler turned his face away from Ye Xi and avoided his gaze.

Ye Xi nervously licked his lips, then asked him outright, “Hey man, wanna elope together?”

He spoke with the decorum of a street vendor selling knockoff dvds next to a pedestrian crossing, it was like ‘Hey dude, want some porno?’

As soon as he had spoken, the electronic voice sounded in his ear with no warning whatsoever, “This is a Level 2 warning for breaking character design. Medium level contradiction detected. Experience points will be deducted after a Level 1 warning. Please be careful with your speech and actions going forward…”

Nooo!!! Don’t take away my experience points! Ye Xi was instantly frightened into a soft little bunny, and hastily repeated his performance in a coquettish falsetto voice, “What I meant was…Mr. Shangguan, will you please elope with me?”

“Of course! I…” The butler’s eyes sparkled with a joyous glow as he reached out and attempted to pull Ye Xi into his embrace.

Ye Xi immediately got out of his way.

I’ve had quite enough of being held by men today, thank you very much! I don’t need any more right now!

“I acted recklessly, please forgive me.” The butler got down on one knee in front of Ye Xi, he nervously took one of Ye Xi’s hands and asked apprehensively, “Do you mind that I’m just a poor man?”

Ye Xi, “Not at all.”

You are a mighty rich guy with a ten-billion-a-year income, alright? Please snap out of it, Mr. Billionaire.

Feeling relieved, the butler finally began to profess his feelings, “In truth, I have loved you for a very long time. I have longed for your affection since I was just a boy, after that…”

Ye Xi stopped paying attention to what he said after that, because the system announcement had sounded next to his ear, “Congratulations, you have successfully conquered male extra Shangguan X. You are rewarded with 5000 points, you are now on Level 7.”

Mwahahahaha! 5000 points is equivalent to the reward from ten main quests! This is so easy! Ye Xi was so happy that he could not help but break into a heartfelt, joyous smile.

The butler was mesmerised by Ye Xi’s smile. Seemingly reassured, “It seems you feel the same way after all.”

Ye Xi, “…”

No, no, no, there’s been a mistake.

Next, the butler made more heartfelt confessions of his feelings. Ye Xi nodded and smiled at regular intervals while thinking about his newly acquired 5000 experience points, but was actually quite unmoved on the inside.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, no wonder they say all men are bastards…

Sure, you say all that now, but you’d stop loving me as soon as I scratch my feet! How shallow is that?!

“Oh, by the way,” Ye Xi interrupted the butler’s incessant confession and changed the topic, “There are so many bodyguards around, how are we supposed to escape?”

“I have a plan.” The butler led Ye Xi on a short walk. Once they reached the window, the butler pulled open the window panes, “We can get down from here.”

Ye Xi looked down, he slunk back immediately as it was a very long way down.

The butler, “There is a five-hundred-hectare 2 garden below us. There are many bodyguards stationed in the garden, but I know of a hidden path that can lead us to the outside without being seen.”

Ye Xi worried, “Should we bring water, food rations and a tent?”

The butler smiled handsomely, “Those are not necessary. We should escape before sunset if everything goes well. All we need to bring with us is money. I have some savings from the past ten years of working here, it should see us through for a little while at least.”

Ye Xi, “…”

Mr. Billionaire, your savings should see you through eight lifetimes of extravagant spending, alright!

But it won’t really matter whether we have money or not. Since according to the storyline, we’ll be caught by the Chief Executive within a few days anyway.

Though, I wonder how he’ll find us…

The butler leaned closer to Ye Xi and spoke with amorous praise, “You are so lovely right now, do you mind if I kissed your cheek?”

Ye Xi immediately refused, “I do mind.”

“Alright then.” Like a large loyal house cat, the butler gracefully retreated, “I will go and look for some scissors. We can cut the bed sheets into strips, tie them into a rope and slide down.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” Ye Xi took another glance outside the window and his knees immediately trembled.

After the butler left the bedroom, Ye Xi received a system announcement that his teammate had completed his Main Quest 3. Ye Xi shared his 500 experience points and they remained on Level 7.

If the Chief Executive’s Main Quest 3 was to confirm the wedding date, then wouldn’t his Main Quest 4 be to catch me and make me marry him? Ye Xi mused. He opened the system interface and summoned the service desk.

There was a more pertinent question that he needed answers for.

Ye Xi, “Service desk, can you tell me what will happen if I died in this world?”

Electronic voice, “Your progress would be saved and you would be resurrected in full health in a safe place, as close to the moment before your death as possible.”

Ye Xi pondered for a moment, “So what you’re saying is that if I jumped out of this window and died, I would reawaken next to the window unhurt?”

Electronic voice, “Correct.”

Ye Xi asked optimistically, “Can I go back to a save point if I went blind?”

I may be frightened into crying like a coward in a moment!

Electronic voice, “No. Only death will activate the resurrection protocol.”

Ye Xi, “…”

Okay, I get it now.

If I get scared, it’s better to wet my pants than to cry! Or I’d have to die and replay this game!

Twenty minutes later, the butler returned with scissors.

Since he had to travel for quite a long distance, it could be called a relatively quick roundtrip.

Next, the two of them cut the bed sheets into strips, then tied the strips together with tight knots. Sheets from a four-hectare bed were more than sufficient for the task.

After a while, Ye Xi dolefully rubbed his stomach and realised he was getting hungry.

After all, I haven’t had any human food in four days! But I have eaten over twenty species of flowers! Ye Xi lamented on the inside.

Meat aside, even a bowl of plain white rice would be enough to make Ye Xi’s mouth water right now…

“It’s time for lunch, are you hungry?” The butler said in a caring voice.

“No.” Ye Xi shook his head. He wanted to leave this place as quickly as possible so he could push on with the storyline. He did not want to waste any time by going to the dining room.

“When I left to retrieve scissors, I brought a few packets of snacks back with me. You can eat them on the way.” He patted his pockets, which revealed the distinct crinkle of snack food packaging.

Ye Xi swallowed hard, the core of his being itching from the word ‘snack’, “What is it?”

Even a fifty-cent packet of instant noodles would be a god-send right now!

The butler smiled dotingly, then took out a packet of dried flowers from his pocket, “Your favourite brand.”

“…” Ye Xi suddenly wanted to punch him, hard.

After a long while, the rope made from bed sheets was almost complete. The butler secured one end of the rope to one of the bedposts from the massive four-hectare bed, then said reassuringly, “This should secure the rope.”

The bed should weigh a few tons, it’s not clear how the floor can bear such weight.

The two of them climbed down the window in a single file. Perhaps due to descriptions from the original novel, there were no bodyguards stationed directly beneath Ye Xi’s window. Had there been any, he would not be able to escape for sure. After all, his cherry blossoms were raining up a storm…

The garden was as large as a forest and covered in dense foliage. It would not be easy to find someone in this five-hundred-hectare garden full of lush vegetation. After safely landing on the ground, Ye Xi followed the butler onto a windy footpath.

Weeds flourished on the edges of the footpath, while untrimmed hedges struck out from both sides. It was evident that no one had walked this way in years. Every few paces, there would be an unlabelled fork in the path. Ye Xi considered himself lucky that he had successfully seduced the butler before escaping, otherwise he would probably be lost in his own garden for the next few days!

With the butler leading the way, they finally reached the edge of the garden when the sun began to dip behind the horizon. A small, well-concealed gap could be seen in the wall, just wide enough for one person to squeeze through.

Panting heavily, Ye Xi wiped the sweat off his ruddy cheeks. He gazed upon the towering walls before him and felt like he had crossed into another country.

“Let’s go.” The butler revealed a gentle smile, “On the other side of these walls lies your freedom.”

“Finally! I won’t have to marry that man anymore.” Ye Xi exaggerated his ostentatious performance with a small leap for joy, then through the small gap, stepped over to the other side of the wall.

As soon as he had set his foot down, Ye Xi could hear the quest completion announcement in his head, giving him another 500 experience points.

However, alongside the system announcement, was Shen Xiulin’s chilling voice, simmering with rage. Pausing after each syllable, Shen Xiulin bit out each word with an unassailable force, “You. Dare. Run. Away. From. Me?”

 

Author’s Notes:  [Spoilers]

Caught him right in the act, puhaha…

Let the imprisonment begin, hehe.

The butler’s scenes are coming to an end…(Male extras become cannon fodder quite quickly)

 

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Translator Notes:

  1. In a society where people are largely expected to dedicate their youth to academic achievement, it is quite normal for people to only start dating in their twenties. It helps when Chinese media don’t sexualise their teens as much as western media do.
  2. ~1200 acres
J. (Translator)

J. (Translator)

Loves to read and translate webnovels about fantasy, sci-fi, pop culture and video games.

If you enjoy my translations, please feel free to buy me a coffee (or hot green tea) at ko-fi.com/jscarlet

You can also checkout my blog at jtranslationscn.wordpress.com

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6 Comments
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Rxya
Rxya
December 22, 2020 9:22 am

Thanks for the chapter . It’s really fun to read.

Dutrima
December 22, 2020 10:40 am

Thank you for the translation,,, I really like it… It’s light, funny..

Jenstaria
January 23, 2021 6:48 pm

i gotta say the part of the scene when Ye Xi struggles to think of a way to seduce the butler is the funniest one in this chapter. lol the “hey dude, want some porno” from some guy on the street is exactly what he sounded like. smh// not so sure his line should have come out that way given his occupation in a professional company. but everything was funny nevertheless.

Wangjixwexian
April 3, 2021 10:17 am

Somehow I feel so refreshed. Just imagine 99 unique extras ~~

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