Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
When Nan HuaiLin woke up, he found himself lying in the hospital with a needle in the back of his hand, infusing him with fluids. He sat up and reached for his cell phone, but after searching through several pockets, there was nothing.
At that moment, Fei Cheng walked in. “You’re awake?” He handed over the phone in his hand. “I just got a call for you.”
Nan HuaiLin took the phone, looked at him quickly, then looked down at the phone and said in a hoarse voice, “Thank you for bringing me to the hospital. You can go now.”
Fei Cheng, however, sat down. “I have nothing to do, so I’ll stay with you for a while.”
Nan HuaiLin refused. “No, you can go.”
Fei Cheng looked at him. “Why do I feel like you don’t like me?”
Nan HuaiLin denied. “You are thinking too much, I don’t know you at all, how can I dislike you? I just don’t want to bother you.”
Fei Cheng hooked the corner of his mouth. “My name is Fei Cheng, the word for city. If you know my name, then we know each other.”
So Fei Zheng’s brother was called Fei Cheng.
Nan HuaiLin looked at him again.
That day he was always behind those sunglasses, covering half of his face. Nan HuaiLin simply did not know what he looked like, so today was the first day he could see his face.
One word, handsome.
Two words, very handsome.
Three words, explosively, dangerously handsome.
Compared with Fei Cheng, Nan HuaiLin felt that he was as ugly as mud.
“I’ll make a phone call.” Nan HuaiLin said.
“You’re calling He Dinghong?” Fei Cheng asked.
“Yes.” Nan HuaiLin nodded his head.
“No need to call,” Fei Cheng said. “I’ve already cleared it with him.”
Nan HuaiLin hung up the phone he had just dialed and looked up at Fei Cheng. “What did you say to him?”
When he looked at him like that, Fei Cheng’s heartbeat suddenly became a bit disturbed.
Although they had only met once, he had already slept with Nan HuaiLin twice in his dreams. Last night’s dream in particular was as realistic, as if it had actually happened, and the slightest recollection of it made him hot and hard.
Nan HuaiLin waited for a while without an answer and asked curiously, “Why don’t you say anything?”
Fei Cheng looked back, coughed awkwardly, and said, “I told him you were sick in the hospital and couldn’t go see him.”
Nan HuaiLin asked, “Then what did he say?”
Fei Cheng replied, “He said he would call you tomorrow.”
Nan HuaiLin said, “Oh.” He stopped talking.
The air suddenly fell silent.
Nan HuaiLin looked down at his phone.
Fei Cheng was looking at Nan HuaiLin quietly.
Fei Cheng felt strange, this face was obviously plain, so how come it looked so pleasant to him? It looked much more pleasant than those handsome men and women in the entertainment industry. Could it be that he had an aesthetic problem?
“Hey,” Fei Cheng suddenly said. “Let me ask you a question.”
Nan HuaiLin looked up, “What’s the question?”
“That day on the subway…” Fei Cheng paused for two seconds. “Why did you cry?”
Nan HuaiLin lowered his eyes, silent for a moment, and said, “Can I not answer?”
Fei Cheng nodded, “Then I’ll ask one more question.”
Nan HuaiLin sighed imperceptibly, “Ask.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?” Fei Cheng cut to the chase.
Fei Cheng was born in the United States, came to China when he was in elementary school, and returned to the United States when he was in college. In general, he was more influenced by Western culture, so he spoke and acted in a very direct way.
“Yes.” Nan HuaiLin didn’t know why he was asking, or why he was lying, but his mouth was faster than his brain anyway.
Fei Cheng nodded, but did not show any disappointment.
He looked up at the infusion bottle. There was still most of the bottle left.
Then, he stopped talking and sat next to him, playing with his phone.
The conversation ended so abruptly that Nan HuaiLin was a bit puzzled.
He swept a glance at Fei Cheng, and suddenly remembered an important thing. He hastily opened his phone, sent a weibo to Ruan Xin, [Assistant Ruan, is Mr. Fei still satisfied with my work?]
After waiting for five minutes, Ruan Xin replied, [Mr. Fei did not say he was not satisfied, that is satisfied.]
Nan HuaiLin’s heart was both happy and worried.
But still a little more happy, so he was optimistic.
His stomach suddenly grumbled. Nan HuaiLin hurriedly covered it.
Fei Cheng looked up and said, “What do you want to eat? I’ll go buy something.”
Nan HuaiLin looked embarrassed. “No, I’ve been on a diet recently. I’m not eating dinner.”
Fei Cheng stood up. “Since you are so dishonest, you can eat whatever I buy.”
Nan HuaiLin looked at Fei Cheng’s upright back, and inexplicably felt a little touched. He silently labelled him in his heart. Willing to help.
When Fei Cheng returned with food, Nan HuaiLin had fallen asleep.
Fei Cheng couldn’t bear to wake him up, so he gently put the things on the table and sat down quietly. His eyes fell on Nan HuaiLin’s sleeping face, which was obviously not pretty, but still he couldn’t move his eyes away, which was really strange.
When the drip was almost finished, Fei Cheng called the nurse to remove the needle.
Nan HuaiLin was awakened by the slight pain when the needle was removed, and only after a few seconds of confusion did he understand the situation. He slowly sat up and said to Fei Cheng in a muffled voice, “I’m sorry. I fell asleep.”
Fei Cheng said, “Let’s go, I’ll take you home.”
Nan HuaiLin said while putting on his shoes, “No, I’ve already taken up a lot of your time. I can walk by myself.” He stood up, “By the way, how much is the medical fee? I’ll transfer it to you.”
Fei Cheng took out his cell phone, “Add me on WeChat.”
Nan HuaiLin said, “No need to add WeChat, just scan the QR code to receive payment.”
Fei Cheng hooked up his lips, “Can I add you to WeChat?”
Nan HuaiLin then understood what he meant, so he got busy adding his WeChat, and then transferring the money to him.
After leaving the hospital, Nan HuaiLin said, “Then…see you later.”
Fei Cheng said, “Mn, bye.”
Nan HuaiLin walked in the direction of the subway station.
Fei Cheng was a few steps behind him.
After walking for a while, Nan HuaiLin stopped, and turned back. “Why are you following me?”
Fei Cheng smiled and asked in return, “Why am I following you?”
Nan HuaiLin, “…”
Fei Cheng had long legs and big steps, and passed him in a few steps. “Is it your turn to follow me now?”
Nan HuaiLin asked with uncertainty, “Are you going to take the subway too?”
Fei Cheng still answered the question with a question, “Can’t I?”
Nan HuaiLin was slightly embarrassed. He thought that a rich person like Fei Cheng would not take public transportation. Suddenly he remembered that the first time he met Fei Cheng was on the subway. So he was even more embarrassed and walked forward with his head down.
Fei Cheng smiled pleasantly, not far behind Nan HuaiLin.
When they entered the subway station, unexpectedly, there were many people, and a long line on the platform. Fei Cheng behind Nan HuaiLin, secretly took a moment to compare them. Nan HuaiLin’s head was just to his chin. This was the best height difference in Fei Cheng’s mind, since it was just right for holding him in his arms.
The subway train arrived.
The doors opened, and the people getting off the train pushed hard towards the outside, while the people getting on the train pushed hard towards the inside. The scene was similar to the morning rush hour.
Nan HuaiLin and Fei Cheng managed to squeeze in. Fei Cheng’s back was against the door, and his front chest was against Nan HuaiLin’s back. They were so close that Fei Cheng smelled his clean body, and had his key parts rubbed from time to time. It was inevitable that he got a little restless.
Nan HuaiLin wanted to stay away from Fei Cheng, but there was a girl standing in front of him, and he was crowded by the people next to him, so just he had to hope that more people would get off at the next stop.
Suddenly, the girl in front of him snapped her head back and gave him a vicious glare.
Nan HuaiLin, “???”
The girl then whispered something to the tall boy next to her, who looked angrily at Nan HuaiLin, reached out and grabbed him by the collar, and said fiercely, “You’re fucking looking for death, aren’t you?”
Nan HuaiLin, “?!!!”
Could someone tell him what happened?
“Which one of your hands touched my girlfriend?” The boy shouted, his face red and neck thick. “This is not over until your salty hand is gone today!”
It was baffling, but before Nan HuaiLin could explain, Fei Cheng suddenly wrapped his arms around him from behind and said with a smile, “Dude, you misunderstood. My baby is not interested in women.”
The boy and the girl looked at each other for a few seconds and then awkwardly let go.
At this point, the subway stopped, and the door opened. Next to them was a greasy, middle-aged man who was the first to squeeze out, then suddenly ran off.
This stop had a lot of people get off and the carriage suddenly relaxed a lot.
The young couple was still there, half-heartedly sizing them up.
Fei Cheng turned Nan HuaiLin around, cupped his face and said, “Baby, you’re scared, right?” Then, taking Nan HuaiLin into his arms, he said, “Don’t be afraid, husband is here.”
Nan HuaiLin, “…”
It was a pity that this person didn’t become an actor.
Fei Cheng hesitated to kiss him, but felt that the scene would be over if he tried, so he didn’t. He hugged Nan HuaiLin and didn’t let go. Just as he had thought, the boy fit in his arms just right.
The young couple was fed a handful of sticky dog food, and moved to the side apologetically.
Nan HuaiLin whispered, “You can let go of me now.”
Fei Cheng said, “Speak louder, I can’t hear you.”
Fei Cheng was a head taller than him, so Nan HuaiLin had to stand on his tiptoes and whisper in his ear, “I said, let go of me.”
In this position, from a certain angle, it looked like Nan HuaiLin was kissing Fei Cheng’s face.
Fei Cheng already had a face that made people blush, and with a doting smile, he was a total heart breaker.
The girl who was lazing around just now, looked at the man’s boyfriend, and then looked at her own boyfriend, and sighed in her heart. It was true that other people’s boyfriends never disappoint.
Fei Cheng hugged Nan HuaiLin for two stops and didn’t let go until he got off.
Nan HuaiLin inexplicably didn’t really want to thank him, but still said, “Thank you for helping me out just now.”
Fei Cheng hooked his lips and smiled, “So did you or didn’t you, salivate like that girl?”
“No!” Nan HuaiLin now not only did not want to thank him, but also wanted to hit him.
Fei Cheng naturally reached out to rub his hair and said with a smile, “It’s just a joke, don’t be angry.”
Nan HuaiLin wasn’t angry, but the atmosphere between the two was awkward. So he was, embarrassingly, at a loss. He blamed this awkwardness on his one-night stand with Fei Zheng. He was unexpectedly vulnerable when confronted with Fei Cheng, as if he was afraid of being discovered for something he had done.
“I’m going to transfer to Line 1.” Nan HuaiLin said.
“Bye.” Fei Cheng said.
“Bye.” Nan HuaiLin smiled at him and turned to walk away.
When he got on the escalator, Nan HuaiLin looked back, but Fei Cheng was no longer on the platform.
By the time he arrived home, it was after eleven o’clock at night.
Nan HuaiLin took out the key to open the door. He entered the door and turned on the light, but was suddenly shocked and jerked backwards.
There was a person lying on the bed.
He didn’t need to see his face to know who it was.
Nan HuaiLin was still in shock, and angrily took two steps to the bed. He could smell the odor of smoke and alcohol. He held his breath, and pulled the man’s shoulder to turn him over. He first checked the man’s hands, and then his pockets. He quickly felt in the man’s pants pockets and found a key, but before he could pull out his hand, his wrist was violently clamped.
Nan HuaiLin was caught off guard by the intense emotion in those dazed, drunken eyes, and the anger in his heart instantly melted away and he was sorely hurt.
For Nan HuaiLin, Shi Yan’s eyes were weapons of mass destruction. They could easily hit him and make him both as sweet as honey, but also to fill his heart with a stabbing pain.
Nan HuaiLin averted his eyes and said in a deep voice, “Let go of me. Don’t force me to do it.”
Shi Yan grabbed his hand and sat up, then wrapped his arms around his waist, and rested his head on his stomach. He said in a muffled voice, “You’re back. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”
Nan HuaiLin wrenched his hand away, took a few steps back, leaned his back against the wall, and said with a cold face, “Go home and sleep when you’re drunk. Don’t come to me.”
Shi Yan hung his head and laughed for a while, then stood up from the bed and stumbled towards Nan HuaiLin.
Nan HuaiLin reached out and pushed him. “You stay away from me.”
Who knew that Shi Yan would fall as soon as he was pushed, falling to the ground with a thud that sounded painful.
In the end, Nan HuaiLin had been in love with him for seven years, and he couldn’t bear to see him in such a mess. He hesitated for a few seconds and bent down to help him, but Shi Yan was lying on the ground, not getting up. He just kept laughing.
Nan HuaiLin sat on his knees next to him, and watched him quietly.
Shi Yan laughed and cried. His expression was blank, but tears kept flowing down from the corners of his eyes. Nan HuaiLin felt that his internal organs were all twisted together, and his heart ached violently.
All the emotions that had been suppressed from the day of the breakup until now erupted like a volcano, Nan HuaiLin covered his face to keep from crying out.
Shi Yan propped himself up and sat up to hug Nan HuaiLin, but his hand was pushed away as soon as it touched him.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” Nan HuaiLin repeatedly questioned. “Why did you break up with me? Why do you want to torture yourself and me like this? Why can’t you just live a good life? Why do you want to ruin everything?”
Shi Yan couldn’t answer a single word.
Nan HuaiLin didn’t expect an answer. He was just venting all his discontent, anger, and aggression, so that he could heal faster.
“Shi Yan, this is the last time in my life I will shed tears for you.” Nan HuaiLin wiped his face and looked at him calmly. “Since you’ve already broken up with me, don’t come back to me. Break up decently. We don’t owe each other.”
“I can’t stand you being with another man.” Shi Yan hung his head, but didn’t have the courage to look at Nan HuaiLin’s face directly. “Nan Nan, can you…can you wait for me? Wait for me for five years, no, three years, just wait for me for three years–“
“I can’t stand still and wait for you,” Nan HuaiLin interrupted him. “From the moment you agreed to marry someone else, you stopped being the Shi Yan I love anymore, and I….Shi Yan. The two of us have completely ended, and there is no possibility of starting over. Do you understand?”
Shi Yan smiled sadly, “After so many years together, I didn’t know until now that your heart was so cruel.”
Nan HuaiLin was speechless.
Shi Yan stood up holding the bed and stumbled out of the room.
The door opened and closed again.
Nan HuaiLin got up and went into the bathroom to wash his face. The cool water on his face made his sore eyes feel better.
Outside the window, the night was dark.
Nan HuaiLin suddenly remembered a passage that he read somewhere.
In this world, some roads have to be faced alone, alone to trek, the road is long and far, the night is dark and silent, but you have to go on alone.
The author has something to say: “At the beginning, you wanted to separate, so you separated. And now you want to use true love to coax me back? Love is not something you can buy.”
A classic song “Love for Sale” for Shi Yan.