My Hemophobic Vampire Chapter 18: Joint Dislocation Should be Reset Quickly

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: KarateChopMonkey

 

“Your existence is already unscientific enough, how can you still live so unscientifically?…” Doctor Shang widened his eyes in amazement, looking at the frustrated elf ball in front of him, finally couldn’t help but shake his head in distress, “MuXi, I have also heard your singing. A person who can be kicked out from a KTV… who gave you the courage to sing to a werewolf?”

“I can’t help it, we also have to take the license test – with my origin and pedigree, I didn’t have to do these front-line grassroots jobs. Just because of this problem, I’ve already been demoted three levels in a row. If I can’t pass the vocal third grade again, I’ll have to go to the issuing department for a stamp.” An MuXi shook his head dejectedly and sighed disconsolately, “I was holding on to the last glimmer of hope, thinking that the aesthetics of werewolves and humans might be different, and that even if humans would find it hard to listen to, it would still work for werewolves…”

After listening to his words, Shang HaoJia has also roughly sorted out the pulse, holding his arms helplessly looking at him, crying and laughing and sighing at the same time, “The result is that you only sang two lines, and that werewolf couldn’t help but wail while pounding his chest and run out with madness?”

Nodding subconsciously, the stricken light elf propped himself up in surprise and looked at the human student in front of him who seemed to have prophetic blood, “That’s it – how did you know so well?”

“Because that’s also the most realistic reaction every time we hear you sing.” Pulling up the elf ball on the ground, Shang HaoJia shook his head helplessly and sympathetically patted his shoulder, “Please believe me, if the bloodline condition allows, they all must have turned berserk long ago as well…”

An MuXi looked at him with tears in his eyes, and after three seconds of silence, he suddenly took hold of his shoulders and shook him back and forth with great force. “Doctor Shang – I know you’re a good doctor! You say there’s no cure for singing out of tune? If this continues, I will definitely bring shame to my family!”

“Stop, stop, stop. There is no cure for off-key singing. But if you can calm down and not shake me to death here, I can still help you think of other ways…”

Shang HaoJia was shaken by him until he was dizzy, and took a moment to respond to him. But before he could get away, the hand pressing his shoulder suddenly loosened, and a muffled sound came next to his ear.

Looking over, Shang HaoJia saw his father’s dignified face in front of him. Driven mad by his singing, the elf apostle was about to fall to the ground without tears. One hand was pressed under his body in an awkward posture, and the other hand was still beating the floor beside him in grief and powerlessness.

“Even this level can make you freeze? Have you forgotten all the fighting skills you were taught?” After lecturing his indomitable son, Father Shang straightened his clothes and looked again at the strange visitor still lying on the floor, “And who are you to bully my son?”

“Dad, Dad – this is my senior. He’s in a slightly agitated mood because he’s suffering from some incurable disease.”

Shang HaoJia hadn’t been beaten since he was a child, for more than 20 years, but he had chased and beaten others. His father’s words of helping him out had never changed. Shang HaoJia was touched enough to cry, but still promptly went forward to explain, and still felt a little dazed when he pulled the elf up, “Besides, according to our professional code, we can’t fight back against someone at  this level…”

Shang HaoJia’s fighting was taught by Father Shang’s hands. He saw An Muxi clutching his right arm with a face full of pain. He didn’t have to ask much, and after touching his elbow joint, Shang HaoJia spun his right forearm back, snapped the wrist and flung it outward, shaking the elbow joint and sending it back into its socket. Then without looking back, he waved behind him, “Lend me your tie, I’ll return it to you later.”

Not expecting to be discovered so easily, the vampire, who had come to watch without a sound, raised his eyebrows in surprise. But still, he neatly untied his tie, smiling lightly and handed it to the human doctor who had already entered his professional state, “My doctor, it is an honor to be your assistant. May I ask if there is anything else I need to do?”

“Yes. Properly unbutton your shirt a few buttons, otherwise it doesn’t look very good without a tie.” Doctor Shang nodded, gave a second medical order, and wrapped the tie around An MuXi’s arm a few times, tied a dead knot and hung it around his neck, telling him to hang his hand on his chest, “The average human won’t be healed for at least two to three weeks. You can convert it as you see fit, and remember to come back for a follow-up.”

“Okay, I’ll remember…”

Before he could respond, he had already gone through a series of being taken down, dislocating his elbow joint and having it reset. The legs of the elf who was always responsible for delivering prayer-type spell attacks from a distance were still shaking a bit, and when he looked at the human police officer with strong physical attack output in front of him, he couldn’t help but gulp and cautiously, taking two steps back.

“Uncle – my name is An Muxi. I am an investigator of the Special Ability and Race Investigation Department, and I am here to cooperate with your police department to deal with this emergency…”

Skeptically looking at the youth in front of him as if he was weak, Father Shang nodded noncommittally and suddenly looked at his son on the side. “You know these Special Branch people, and a vampire with a werewolf friend – you didn’t also awaken some superpower, right?”

As a standardized human, Doctor Shang was increasingly proud and grateful for this identity, and hastily waved his hand and seriously assured him, “No no – don’t worry Dad, I’ve lived a scientific life up to now, in every sense and indicator.”

Only after getting his reply did Father Shang nod in satisfaction and patted his own son’s shoulder twice in relief, “That’s more like it, no thanks to the year when we burned that letter from some magic school when you were eleven…”

“Huh?” Shang HaoJia was stunned and blinked. He suddenly felt as if he had missed some unusually remarkable information. He subconsciously took two steps back but was slapped on the top of his head by his own father. 

“I’m joking with you. Do you really believe you can be a magician by casually watching a few TV programs? Do you think that your mother and I haven’t been successful and retired so we can travel around the world?”

“Uncle, you still seem to have some misconceptions about magic. In fact, according to the Covenant for the Exceptional and Special Races, magicians have to pay a high tax of ninety-seven point three percent of the proceeds from magic being shown on television.”

The dutiful elven apostle trotted along, barely keeping up with Father Shang’s athletic pace despite the painful intake of cold air, earnestly explaining to him the unremitting efforts made by the Special Agency to safeguard human rights. “In addition to this, we have also imposed a large number of restrictions on magicians engaging in other occupations, and will certainly try our best to ensure that ordinary human jobs…”

Watching the two people walk away, Doctor Shang, who was almost fooled, wiped away his cold sweat, shaking his head, feeling relieved, when, behind him, suddenly came the vampire’s usual gentle and elegant voice, “My dear friend, please don’t feel depressed over such things – the truth is that magicians face much more severe dilemmas in their daily lives than us non-human races.”

“To be honest, after having deep contact with you guys, I think my love for humans is getting deeper and deeper.”

Shang HaoJia shook his head and laughed lightly, turning back to look at the vampire who had taken off his tie and unbuttoned his two top buttons, nodding in satisfaction, “But why would a wizard be grimmer than you guys? Is it because they have to pay taxes?”

“That’s just one aspect – in addition to that, they have to go through a series of internship periods such as trainee wizard, standardized training wizard, duty wizard, and finally pass the general examination to obtain the qualification.”

Wei Long replied with a smile, moved to the side of the corridor, and slowly accompanied him back to the lounge, “After successfully obtaining the wizard qualification, they have to go through tedious written exams, interviews and practical skills exams every year, and if they want to continue to move up to a higher level, they have to engage in magical research, write papers of sufficient quality, or invent a new kind of magic…”

“I don’t know why, but that somehow seems to sound a bit familiar.” Raising a hand and rubbing his jaw, Doctor Shang nodded with deep feeling, and before he had a chance to express a deep moment of sympathy for his magician friends, he saw the conspicuously tall figure of his werewolf friend at the door.

“JiaLun, are you being chased by another werewolf?” They were slightly shocked by the other party’s rare wretched look. Although there was usually mutual dislike between them, Wei Long still took a step forward, and said with concern, “I thought you simply went to give a statement to explain some of the circumstances…”

 

“I was going to make a statement. It turned out that they said that I would probably have more in common with that bastard werewolf, so they asked me to help go to the trial of that guy.” He JiaLun’s clothes were torn and a bit messy, his face still had two bloodstains, and even though his hair was disheveled, he looked extremely proud, “A low-ranking werewolf actually had the audacity to mock me to wagging my tail – I beat him up without saying a word, and tied his tail around his neck!”