My Hemophobic Vampire Chapter 45: Humans Are Fetal Animals

Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

Editor: Lhachril

 

“…At this rate, I think we will soon have a lot of children and grandchildren.” The twin dragons, the vampire, and two eggs of the dragon in his name, Doctor Shang could not help but rub his temples, as if he had foreseen the future of fatherhood for various reasons, “About the matter of calling you Father, you have asked for Wayne Loki’s consent?”

“I did ask for his permission, but he refused, so he was given a strict fatherly discipline.” The vampire nodded, meeting the gaze of his own human frankly. “After the discipline, he cried out and accepted such a fate. So when he jumped on you, I didn’t feel worried at all, because as soon as I told him to sit down, he would–“

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a sudden, violent roar from the first floor, followed by Wayne Loki’s angry growl, “Dad – I’m not your husky! Can you stop making me sit down? I don’t want to lose face!”

“Good point, I should also give JiaLun some relevant training, so that he does not always say something meaningless…” Hearing the vague protest of grief and anger from downstairs, Wei Long held his jaw for a moment, then nodded thoughtfully and stood up gracefully. “Honey, if there’s nothing else, please allow me to leave for a moment–“

“Of course there is,” With a quick glance, he could see the vampire’s intention to use the opportunity to escape, Shang HaoJia tugged his arm and rolled up his own sleeve with the opposite hand. “The way Wayne Loki appears to be alive and well, you must not have taken much blood. Our enemies are not all taken care of, you still need to continue to practice until you get over this problem. I don’t want to be injured at some point and not even have a chance to fight back.”

“Honey, at this point in time – it’s better not to…” Looking at his doctor’s arm in embarrassment, the vampire’s face showed some embarrassment and instinctively stepped back, “After all, you have to work tomorrow. If we do this kind of thing today…it would not be quite appropriate…”

“Food and sex, is originally the nature of man. What is inappropriate?”

The two dragons were very strong, Doctor Shang was not at all worried about being accidentally drained by his own anorexic vampire. He pulled him back and pressed him on the bed, “Okay, okay, don’t dawdle. Move quickly, don’t force me to do it myself…”

The two little dragons, lying in the doorway outside the door, were stretching their necks to listen to the fun. The hybrid husky tiptoed up the stairs, handed over a meat bone and waved ingratiatingly towards the two little ones, “What are they talking about, did they say anything about the crystal ball?”

“I don’t think so – I just heard something, something about food and sex…”

Xian Bao cocked his head and thought for a long time, then shook his head seriously, “It seems that Brother Doctor wants to do something with Brother Vampire, then Brother Vampire said no, but Brother Doctor said he must, and they have been arguing back and forth because of this.”

“I heard it too! Brother Vampire also said Brother Doctor has to work tomorrow, it is not appropriate to do such things now. Then Brother Doctor said he would do it himself…”

“…Mn, do not listen further!” Listening to the two little dragons upside down narrative, the werewolf’s look just instantly became extremely indescribable. He tucked the two little ones beneath his arms and ran down the stairs without looking back, “They are discussing – discussing about laying eggs. In the future, when Brother Doctor and Brother Vampire say such things again, you must hide far away, remember?”

“Liar, Brother Doctor will have two eggs soon, and he doesn’t need to have more eggs!” Xian Bei was the quickest to react, and exposed the uncle werewolf’s well-intentioned lie without mercy. 

Xian Bao was also not willing to be outdone, scurrying to his brother’s side and nodding vigorously, “That’s right! And the book says that humans and vampires are straightforward to get little babies, they don’t lay eggs at all – only we dragons and birds lay eggs. Uncle Werewolf, don’t lie to us just because we are young, we know a lot!”

“…Mn, I guess I’d better shut up.” Being re-taught by the two little ones, the hybrid husky hung his head and threw up his hands in defeat, but he couldn’t help but look up at the closed door of the room with respect, “Pro-activism – Doctor Shang is actually pugnacious to this point?”

 

Completely unaware of what had happened to his image in the mind of the husky, Doctor Shang was still working diligently to compete with his own vampire.

The two people had changed from a civil drama to a full-scale martial arts. The vampire was suppressed on all fours lying on his back on the bed, crying and laughing, grabbing the wrist of his human. After a long time, he finally deflated and shook his head.

“Still can’t – Honey, with you like this, even my canine teeth won’t grow out…”

“Okay, scenario seventeen failed, eat it.” The human doctor rolled onto his back and left the bowl filled with duck blood in front of him, “Although according to your earlier theory, these proteins that have been denatured due to the heat are basically useless, it is better to adapt to it than not to touch it at all.”

“As ordered…” After blinking innocently and resigning to eat the seventeenth piece of blood tofu, the vampire finally couldn’t help but burp and surrender in defeat. “My dear doctor, you also know that our digestive system is very slow. If I keep eating, I think it will probably take me a year to digest this food…”

“Then that’s it for today’s treatment, we’ll continue to test the remaining six hundred and eighty three tomorrow.” Looking outside at the growing evening sky, Doctor Shang then nodded humanely and rolled down his sleeves. He was about to give the cooperating vampire a goodnight kiss as an encouragement when the werewolf butler’s cautious greeting suddenly came from outside the door.

“Doctor Shang, do you have time now? There’s a delivery for you, it says you must sign for it in person…”

“I’m done, I’m on my way down.”

The vampire’s originally bright and shiny expectant gaze instantly dimmed. Doctor Shang could not help but laugh lightly, then raised his voice to answer before giving him a light kiss, “As a reward for today’s cooperation with the treatment, consider the crystal ball matter forgotten. But do not let me see you looking at the crystal ball. Don’t let me see you watching any holographic projections, or I’ll confiscate them all, okay?”

“No problem, Honey, I’ll do it….” The vampire’s original inky eyes had almost turned light pink, and he nodded his head in agreement. 

The werewolf butler darted around the corner after knocking on the door for fear of disturbing the intermittently brutal pure-blood king, and even grew ears and tail for self-preservation, ready to turn and flee. The two men actually came out uneventfully, with light steps and a natural look, as if they were in a good mood.

Looking at Doctor Shang’s robust pace, the hybrid husky moved his ears with awe, rubbed his nose and sneezed hard, finally becoming more and more convinced that the other had never been an ordinary human.

“Hello, Mr. HaoJia. We offer same-day delivery of dragon eggs to every contracted customer within China. Please sign here with your handprint and rate the service of the Courier Dragon Clerk. Please note that the dragon eggs are allowed to be returned before they are hatched, but you need to pay for the postage yourself.” The giant dragon figure in the living room gave him a friendly nod, set the huge basket in its mouth on the floor, and poked its head forward, which already had a two written on it, over again.

“Many thanks. Let me ask one more question. Are you the only dragon in your dragon group?”

The dragon in front of him was the same as the previous customer service dragon. Shang HaoJia added another two to his head and finally couldn’t help but be curious and ask a question tentatively.

“No, this is a dragon service that we learned with humans. We agreed that under the universal sky, only we dragons can truly capture the essence of ‘a dragon service’.” The dragon blinked and kindly showed its sharp teeth, revealing a rather grim smile. “Thank you for your comment, you are a good customer to talk to. The last time I went to deliver dragon food to a family named Ye, I ended up scaring him unconscious just by knocking on their window, causing me to have another bad record…”

“A dragon…” Finally understanding the real meaning of these words, Shang HaoJia solemnly nodded, sympathetically patted the dragon’s head, then opened the tightly covered basket, “How can there be so many things, I thought there were only two eggs… this is… what?”

“Honey, let me take a look.” The vampire sat on the sofa with his own human, and raised his hand casually, and told the huge basket to float in mid-air, and patiently took out the things inside one by one.

“These two are dragon eggs. This is dragon brand sulfur soap, specifically for young dragons to clean their bodies. These are dragon special milk powder, dragon special milk powder, dragon special milk powder…”

“Wait a minute, I have an ominous premonition.”

He looked at the vampire that seemed thunderstruck, and then looking at the several bags of small mountain high dragon special milk powder, Doctor Shang’s heart suddenly gave birth to some uneasiness. The two dragon eggs were lifted up and carefully studied up and down, and it was seen that the bottom of both eggs were covered with a small red stamp, one with ‘Bi An’ ¹ written on it, and the other with ‘Taotie’ ² written on it.

“……”

At the time of seeing the latter two words, Shang HaoJia’s eyes glazed over, as if he had seen the future of the half-grown boy eating like a poor old man, shook his head with difficulty, “I remember – of the nine sons, there wasn’t a Taotie…”

“No, nine is an imaginary number, in fact, we can give birth to anything.” The dragon looked at him sincerely, turned in mid-air and nodded his head twice towards him, “You’re a good customer, so while I’m still here, I can give you a chance to return the package. Are you going to change one?”

 

“Yes, I want-” Shang HaoJia hurriedly nodded, but only said three words, the dragon egg in his hand suddenly clicked, and the cracks on the eggshell spread out at a speed visible to the naked eye.