Translated by Crystal of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
After the opening ceremony, the students and teachers had to return to their classes, which the owners couldn’t enter. Most of them left temporarily.
It was Monday, the busiest workday, so a lot of the owners woke up early for the ceremony and still had work afterwards. Xie GuanZe was different however, the Pet Human Relationship Mitigation Association’s workplace for the day was the university!
Observing the school and the environment, as well as the teacher-student interactions was part of their work too~
Xie GuanZe specially patrolled the surrounding area, feeling as if he was an emperor doing an undercover investigation. 1
During the patrol, he saw a lot of difficult partings between owners and university staff members. No matter how cool the teachers were, most of them still showed their cute (moe-moe) side in front of their owners.
Take the alpaca vice-principal for example. He was listening calmly to his nouveau-riche owner, with his white, curly hair and elegant demeanour. 2
“This is your breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. I don’t know how the cafeteria is for this school or how tough it’s going to be working here… You still have to work even though you’re a pet…”
Seeing the nouveau-riche owner hand over a travel bag full of snacks, Xie GuanZe instinctively looked towards Xie King.
Given his tastes, this kind of owner would be his dream owner, right?
However, Xie King was nowhere in sight. He had already left in a hurry to hand out his ‘love’ to his students.
With a good temper, the alpaca took the travel bag and replied with a bit of awkward Mandarin, “Once I get* my pay, I’ll buy you snacks*.”
His owner sighed and corrected him, “It’s Fa not Hua. And it’s Lin Shi, not Lin Si.”
The moment his owner started talking about Mandarin, the alpaca showed a face of despair and began shooing him away, “Okay, okay, you can leave! Leave, leave*!” 3
Xie GuanZe listened to the nouveau-riche owner walking out while grumbling with a smile. He had seen it all.
The elegant alpaca’s worst nightmare was learning Mandarin, while the fearless battle goose had a soft side too.
A cute girl was tugging on the goose’s arm and acting spoiled, “Ehhh, come pick me up after work, ok? The street lights are still broken, and I’m too scared to go home alone~” 4
The battle goose gave an intimate hug to his tiny owner and replied, “Honk, wait for me.”
After his farewell with his cute owner, he walked past Xie GuanZe, returning to his prideful expression, as if he saw defeating everyone as a piece of cake. His mouth was also itching to peck someone.
Once Xie GuanZe finished patrolling, he met up with his supervisor, Hou FangHua, and the director of the education department and they headed towards the classrooms.
Due to his personal interests, Xie GuanZe proposed to go to the cooking classroom first. The others didn’t say anything since they had to visit all of them anyways.
Once the three arrived at the classroom, they saw Xie King standing behind the podium introducing himself and spit flying everywhere. (That’s how excited he was) The pets just became humans, so they haven’t experienced the devastation of a long ass speech by a leader of some sort. For now, they were innocently clapping along, showing their support. That made Xie King gain an ego boost and made him even happier.
“Looks like the teacher-student relationship is pretty good here.” Hou FangHua said smiling, “Xiao-Xie, your pet’s pretty popular here huh. Much more tamed than my monkey.”
Xie GuanZe gave a modest smile that had a hint of how proud he was and replied, “You’re exaggerating.”
“Now you’re making me want to get a pet.” The director said with a hint of melancholy, “Why couldn’t plants come alive too? I was hoping for my peony, that I raised for many years to become human. A peony fairy, how beautiful would that be.”
Some people liked animals, some liked plants, while others liked both.
The director was someone who only liked raising plants and was an anthophile. He even made a little garden in his house. Due to the fact his neighbour’s rabbit often ate the plants in his garden, he wasn’t too fond of pets.
After the incident of pets turning into humans, the director sat at his garden and stared at them for a whole night, hoping to witness their transformation. However, it was all useless as nothing happened. He was so angry that he kept drinking and crying over it.
——Both Xie GuanZe and Hou FangHua heard of this rumour. Once they knew they would work with him, they investigated the director. However, they had their suspicions about the crying bit.
But, they could imagine the director’s disappointment in not seeing his plants turn into humans. For that, all they could say in comfort, was maybe it’ll be the plants’ turn next coming double moon.
As the three were observing through the window, Xie King had already caught sight of them. To leave a better impression, he reluctantly finished his speech and opened the door for his students.
“Okay, now it’s time for the students to do an introduction. Hmm, it’ll be good if you tell us what your original form is, what you eat and don’t eat. This way, we’ll have a better understanding of each other.”
“Let’s start off with this student’s introduction!”
The first student was a black haired, black eyed shota (young boy). He was tiny, skinny, and looked around twelve. For some reason, when Xie King saw him, his mouth started watering.
Could it be another silkworm?
Xie King thought to himself as he swallowed silently.
The black haired shota stood up and talked quietly with his head down, clearly nervous, “My last name is Zhang, I’m Zhang XiaoQiang. My- my- my-… my original form is a cockroach…”
The boy’s neighbour’s eyes lit up, with a smile she said, “What a coincidence!”
Zhang XiaoQiang asked in pleasant surprise, “You’re a cockroach too?”
The little girl (Loli) smiled sweetly as she wiped the corner of her mouth, “I’m Jasmine, my original form is a Huntsman spider. Heheheh.”
Zhang XiaoQiang: !!!
“Teacher, I request a seat change!” 5
Teacher Xie stared at him with shining eyes, “Student Zhang, if you don’t listen in class, the teacher will eat you~”
Xie GuanZe: !!! Are you a demon?!! Look how scared you’re making that kid!!
Jasmine the spider also added excitedly, “Teacher! I’ll help you supervise!”
And I’ll help you eat too!
Cockroach boy started crying upon hearing that, “Teacher, I request a class change!”
So the first day of class and Xie King already got a complaint. The reason was: looking at a student and drooling.
The way to solve that was easy. Xie GuanZe called Xie King over to the office and elegantly showed him a series of cockroach documentaries. It showed their living conditions, their reproducing habits, and other down to earth subjects. In an instant, Xie King felt calm and appetite-less.
“I’m sorry, I apologize.”
When Xie King went back to class, he apologized to the cockroach boy.
He’ll never hold another vile thought towards the cockroach race ever again.
The little boy was super moved hearing that, thinking this teacher was down to earth and fair.
What he didn’t know was the emotional trauma Xie King went through at the office. Screens and screens full of cockroaches were terrifying…
After Xie GuanZe solved the issue with Xie King, he wiped the cold sweat off his face.
Good thing the other two liked how Xie King took care of the situation afterwards, otherwise, Mr. Xie would only be a one-day-teacher.
Xie GuanZe quickly took the other two to observe other classes. He couldn’t imagine what chaos Xie King was going to create afterwards…
Other than the cooking class, everything else was peaceful.
Like the medical class.
The medical teacher was a soft, fragile, handsome looking Scottish Fold. He was currently writing beautifully on the blackboard, “Our goal is to treat ourselves and steal it from the vets! Only pets know themselves the best!”
His personal goal was even simpler, to live longer.
“A Scottish Fold huh.” The director became melancholic again, “My daughter raised one before, a small, female cat. At that time, she just wanted a cute cat, not knowing how delicate they were, so she let her give birth twice, consecutively. The result, sigh, let’s not talk about it. After that, my daughter never raised another cat.”
Both Xie GuanZe and Hou FangHua became silent.
A lot of pets’ genetic diseases were created by humans.
To preserve their bloodline, they often bred with close relatives, causing genetic disorders. What was cute in a human’s eyes might be the source of pain for pets.
Xie GuanZe said softly, “It’s because we brought many pains to pets that we have to start making up for it now. So that they can live like humans, and live a life of dignity.”
The two leaders stayed silent. Xie GuanZe saw the cat teacher specially raised his head to make eye contact with him and smiled at him while nodding.
Xie GuanZe nodded back in respect.
The cat teacher wasn’t like Xie King, his elegance had a sickly feel to it and even his voice was soft. He moved on to the students’ self introductions very quickly.
The medical class was both refined and harmonious, since all the students were logical but weak pets. Most of them had felt dangers to their survival.
Like rabbits, sheep and ducks for example.
The rabbit said, “Teacher, we have a passed down ancient recipe for reproducing~ I can be an obstetrician, teaching others how to reproduce more, using quantity to replace quality.”
The sheep said, “Teacher, I’m a body full of treasures, sheep meat is tasty… Sheep oil is useful too. I can be a cosmetologist.”
The duck said, “No duck can escape the South City, so you can see my charm. I can be a nutritionist. I’m super nutrient heavy too, duck soup is super good for the body~”
Scottish Fold teacher: …
“Cough, cough, what are your goals for studying medicine?”
The three replied in union, “We want a chance to save ourselves before we are brought onto the dinner table!”
Xie GuanZe: …
Students, I think your expectations are way too high!
Scottish Fold teacher, in tears: Even as a teacher I can’t do it…
I mean, those brought onto the dinner table all became meat cubes right?!
Rabbits: no rabbit can escape Sichuan~
Sheep: no sheep can escape Mongolia~
Duck: no duck can escape Nanjin~
The three delicacy animals, you’re worth it~~~
(Respectfully, spicy rabbit head, BBQ sheep, salted duck)
- (微服私访 – a private, undisclosed visit from the Emperor in normal attire)
- (fuerdai – This is a specific term of second-generation rich kids who are spoilt and overly spent on luxuries and show offs)
- (He says Zou4 not Zou3)
- (Just imagine her talking in a sickening sweet voice)
- (In china, seating is designated and often desks are paired up, so you always had a neighbour)