Translated by Addis of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
“Your laugh is so disgusting.” Augusta hated it.
Prison Fire quickly agreed, “Yes, yes, it’s disgusting!”
“I like to disgust people,” Cavaldien brazenly replied.
Prison Fire pointed at Cavaldien and complained to Augusta, “Look! How can there be such a person in the world?! Can you tolerate such a person living in your home? I can’t! Get rid of him. Blow him up with your magic or something!”
“…Are you sure you want that? Your beautiful house may also suffer.”
Prison Fire suddenly realized this matter, “Yes! You’ve got a point.”
Augusta sighed. The black dragon’s IQ was so problematic, no wonder Cavaldien could invade it’s room.
“Let’s sit down and talk,” Cavaldien said, sitting on the golden sofa. “You all know that my leg is not good and I can’t stand for long.”
“Don’t believe him.” Prison Fire said to Augusta, “When fighting vampires, he runs faster than anyone else!” He sat angrily across Cavaldien who, in that amount of time, also sat down while staring at Augusta.
Augusta mocked, “You look like a paraplegic, but you avoid vampires?”
“He runs away from them.” Prison Fire supplemented.
“Ha ha, I should have known — Damn it, this sofa is so hard!” Augusta had just sat down only to jump back up.
Cavaldien pulled a cushion from under him and threw it to Augusta, “I was facing the ancestor level vampire master. You shouldn’t rush to fight without complete preparation. Is it wrong to choose tactical retreat?”
Prison Fire leaned to Augusta’s ear and whispered, “He knew. If you can’t beat it, don’t try.”
“…I hear you.” Cavaldien smiled politely.
Caught between the two who were engaged in a round of tit-for-tat, Augusta felt an unprecedented embarrassment. He was not a family mediator so why was he involved in this?
“Well, let’s get back to business. Cavaldien, Prison Fire is very angry about your coming to his house without permission. How could you not listen to the owner and immediately move in at your own will?”
Cavaldien raised his eyebrows, lifted his cane with his right hand, and struck the ground with a heavy tap. “My friend, what do you mean by ‘coming without permission’? We live together. In this case, this is my home. Do I have to get permission to return to my own home?”
“Don’t listen to his nonsense,” Prison Fire yelled, “There’s no such thing at all! Since when did we live together?”
“I will say the same! Augusta, you can’t just listen one-sidedly to Prison Fire, or you will be misled.”
Augusta propped up his forehead with difficulty, “Don’t make any noise Cavaldien, do you have any evidence?”
“Nonsense. The door of this apartment is equipped with a fingerprint lock. Originally, only Prison Fire’s fingerprint could open it. But I asked Prison Fire,” Cavaldien stared at the black dragon, “if he could also record my fingerprint so that when I come to his house, he won’t have to go through all the trouble to open the door for me. He agreed. This is equivalent to saying that he gave me the key to his own house, and allowed me to go in and out freely. Therefore, there is no such problem of ‘trespassing into a private home’.”
Prison Fire stared at the golden-haired mage in horror, “No! I… I… It’s different from what you said! I didn’t mean that at all! I’m just lazy to open the door for you every day. It’s not a matter of ‘letting you in and out freely at ease’.”
“What’s more, I once asked you if you could spare a room for me because your home is so big. Otherwise, whenever I came to see you, I would have to stay in a hotel when there was clearly a room available here. You agreed, so I brought some personal belongings. I think that’s what it means to accept me as a cohabitant. Augusta, isn’t that right?”
Augusta hummed, “Mmm…”
Prison Fire took a cold breath, “No, no, no! I didn’t mean it like that! I just thought of you as poor and miserable, and probably unable to afford to live in a luxury hotel, so I gave you a room at random! If you have something to do with me, you can stay with me. If you have nothing, you can go back to your own home. That’s all. How can we become cohabitants?” He grabbed Augusta’s elbow and asked for help. “I know that in your human culture, two people living together has a special meaning, but I really didn’t mean it like that.”
Cavaldien sneered, “Oh, really, so you just kind of helped the poor and turned your home into a relief center?”
“Yes, yes, that’s almost what I meant!” Prison Fire nodded.
“Then what do you mean by coming into my bed in the middle of the night?”
Prison Fire showed the expression of being bombarded by thunder. “That’s to help you with your physiological needs! I am the host. Isn’t it reasonable for the host to meet the needs of the guests? I’ll give you food when you’re hungry. I’ll give you a drink when you’re thirsty. When you’re hot and cold, I’ll adjust the temperature of the air conditioner for you. If you feel bored, I’ll take you out to play. If you have sexual needs, I’ll help you…” His voice died down because Augusta was staring at him with wide eyes. “He said it first! I asked him if he needed anything. He said he wanted me, so I just — It’s difficult, am I wrong? I’m just trying to be a good host, and that’s wrong?”
Prison Fire was too thoughtful, or they could say he had a problem with his brain… Augusta shook his head.
Unable to get a response from his allies, Prison Fire stammered, “It’s a mistake, a misunderstanding! We all misunderstood each other’s meaning! Okay, okay… Even if it’s my fault! But you forcing me to get married? As far as I know, in human culture, even cohabitation does not necessarily lead to marriage!”
“Force you? When did I force you? Didn’t you propose to me first?”
“Absolutely not!” Prison Fire grabbed Augusta’s shoulder and shook him violently. “Believe me, magician, I’ve never proposed to him! You must not believe him!”
Augusta was roughly shaken by him that he almost bit his tongue.
“Oh? Then how do you explain this?” Cavaldien raised his left hand. He wore a diamond ring on the ring finger of his left hand. “You sent it to me, did you forget?”
Prison Fire’s gaze was straight, “I didn’t forget…”
“You put it on for me. Is this also my ‘misunderstanding’?”
Prison Fire grabbed his hair wildly, “No! It’s not what you think! Augusta, tell me he thinks too much!”
Don’t kick my side! Augusta coughed gently, “Prison Fire, you gave each other a ring, and also, wearing them on the ring fingers, that is a proposal for marriage…”
“There must be something wrong! I just showed him around my treasures to open his eyes, and then told him that I could afford to give him whatever he wanted. He picked a diamond ring on his own — well, I admit he had a good eye, and I like that ring. But I just gave him the ring just to show my generosity! It’s not a proposal!”
Cavaldien gave a long, “Oh” and then asked “— So why did you put the ring on my ring finger?”
“Because it didn’t fit any other finger!”
“Why was it my left hand?”
“Because you were using your cane in your right hand at that time, it was inconvenient!”
Cavaldien turned the diamond ring on his ring finger thoughtfully. His eyes were deep and elusive. After a long time, he raised his head and a bright smile broke out on his face, “Yes, I misunderstood it. I didn’t expect to cause you so much trouble. I’m sorry, Prison Fire. It’s all my fault.”
Augusta shivered at the sight of his smile. Cavaldien was not the most terrible when he was expressionless and cold. On the contrary, he was the most terrible when he smiled. God knows what kind of idea he was thinking under that smile. The most frightening thing was that he basically laughed all day long.
Prison Fire had probably already experienced the horror of Cavaldien’s smile, and quickly shook his hand, “Why is it your fault? It’s all the fault of cultural estrangement between human beings and dragons…”
Cavaldien took off the diamond ring and gently placed it on the coffee table, “Since the misunderstanding has been cleared up, I’ll give it back to you.”
The dragon reached out to the diamond ring, but quickly retracted back. “Is there any reason to take back gifts that have already been given away? Take it.”
Cavaldien curled his mouth and no longer looked at Prison Fire. He turned to a bunch of golden flowers in the corner of the room. “I thought it had special significance for me, but I didn’t think it was all my wishful thinking. It’s not interesting to keep it. Take it back.” He suddenly got up and walked towards the flowerpot with his cane.
“I…” Prison Fire turned to Augusta, “Hey, magician, in your human culture, can a proposal ring be returned?”
“Er… I think it’s okay? It’s like you broke up. Anyway, you are not officially married. You can take it back at any time. What’s more, even if you get married, you can still leave.”
“What happens if I take it back?” Prison Fire was very nervous.
“Everything will be over. I’ll go back to my own home, and I’ll still have to live my life.”
“Will you pursue me after I take it back? You seem to like to hunt down those who don’t keep their promise…”
“In what era did we end things?” Cavaldien laughed, “I won’t go after you. There should be… no way.”
“That is to say, our lives will return to the way they were before — when I didn’t propose to him? Nothing else?”
“Well. There is a saying among us that we can continue to be good friends even if we break up, so it is theoretically feasible so it’s okay.”
“I know that when you say ‘theoretically feasible,’ you mean ‘don’t dream’.”
“You wanted to get rid of Cavaldien, and now he’s gone, shouldn’t you be happy?”
“I just want him out of my house, not… It’s not…”
Prison Fire stared at Cavaldien. The latter looked at the golden flowers in the basin for a moment. Then, he turned around and said, “I have no reason to stay. I’ll call in nightmare to come and help clean up things. I won’t disturb you in the future.”
“What do you mean?” Prison Fire jumped up, “Will you not come again?”
Cavaldien looked at the ceiling disconsolately, “I lived here because I like you. But now I understand that my so-called ‘like’ was all just my misunderstanding. Then why should I stay?”
“Aren’t we friends?”
“…We can’t be friends anymore.”
“Why? Do you hate me?” Prison Fire persisted in asking.
“I don’t hate you, you hate me. You hate me to the point of asking Augusta to get rid of me. Isn’t it too unwise for me to stay so shamelessly?”
He turned to go when Prison Fire caught up with him and grabbed his wrist, “I just want you to leave my nest, not to break up with you!”
“To me, there’s no difference between the two.”
“I don’t understand! Can’t we go back to what we used to be? Just being friends, not cohabitation, marriage or something? Why do you have to choose between ‘friends’ and ‘lover’?”
Cavaldien didn’t shake off Prison Fire’s hand, but looked at him sympathetically, “That’s the crux of the problem! I didn’t treat you as a friend from the beginning! I love you, but in your eyes it’s just friendship! Maybe not even friendship. Now you want to enjoy my love, but you don’t want to admit it’s love. Sorry, I can’t. I thought I was special to you but I was wrong. I’m not noble enough to give my whole life for a love that will never be returned. Maybe you dragons can do it, but I can’t. Compared with you, a human life span is too short to afford that.”
“What shall I do when you are gone?”
“You lived hundreds of years before you met me. What if you didn’t meet me? Besides, for you, decades are like a gust of wind. If you blink, there will be no Cavaldien in the world.”
Prison Fire looked like he was scared. It seemed that he was now aware of the abysmal gap of the ‘life span’ between himself and Cavaldien.
“Your life is so short, how can I let you go? I can be angry with other dragons and we won’t see each other for one hundred years, but I can’t do it with you! It’s too easy for humans to die!”
Cavaldien gazed into Prison Fire’s golden eyes, “Do you want me to stay?”
Prison Fire hesitated as he looked left and right. Cavaldien sneered, turned around and left. Prison Fire hugged him from behind, “No, no, no! Don’t go! Stay! If I have to choose between ‘break up’ and ‘get married’, I’ll get married in ten days!”
Cavaldien turned and tilted his head, “Are you sure? Won’t you regret it?”
Prison Fire whispered, “Even if one day I regret it… Anyway, your human lifespan is so short. If I bear with it, you will pass away…”
Cavaldien raised the corners of his mouth and released his cane. Without support, his body was tottering.
“Hold me tight.” He said.
Prison Fire obediently grabbed him, hands through his armpits, supporting his body. Cavaldien leaned against the black dragon’s shoulder, took a deep breath, as if sniffing at him, then raised his head and cast a triumphant glance at Augusta in the distance.
Augusta’s heart secretly scolded, Fucking sleaze: a good move to act hard to get! Brilliant!
Before Cavaldien and Prison Fire were settled, the doorbell rang. Prison Fire wanted to open the door, but Cavaldien put his body’s center of gravity on him, as if he was bad at doing things. Without Prison Fire, he couldn’t even stand still. Prison Fire hummed and said, “Magician Augusta, open the door!”
“I am a guest! You want me to open the door?” Augusta swore as he moved off the sofa and walked towards the door.
The doorbell rang from the door that led to the roof. Could it be, the unicorn can’t bear the cold wind and wants to warm up in the house? Augusta turned the lock when the door was pushed open with a “bang” and almost hit Augusta in the face.
“Damn it! Do you open doors like this! Wait for me, I’m going to cut off your — ” Augusta couldn’t say his next words.
He really didn’t know what to say.
It was not the unicorn that appeared in front of him. In fact, there was no ‘beast.’
Outside the door stood a naked man with black hair and red eyes.