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Translated by J.

Editor: Addis

After almost passing out on the toilet, Ye Xi finally accepted that Murong X’s body was really not made to handle any greasy food. Pain spasmed from his abdomen in waves, with each wave more agonising than the last. His usual smooth and dry rainbow-coloured pellets had all turned into nasty liquid as if someone had tipped over a paint bucket inside the toilet.

“Whoo…Ahh…” Clutching his belly, Ye Xi curled up into the shape of a shrivelled shrimp while he drew muffled moans.

A series of rapid knocking came from outside the door. Shen Xiulin stood close to the doorway and asked, “What’s going on?”

Ye Xi got up to flush the toilet, “I feel a bit better now.”

After a few seconds’ pause, Shen Xiulin asked, “When are you coming out?”

“Soon.” Replied Ye Xi as he felt his body turning into putty. He pulled up his pants, then walked to the bathroom door and opened it.

Shen Xiulin cleared his throat, “I need to use the bathroom.” Then quickly slipped inside as if he had been waiting patiently outside the bathroom this whole time.

Without a doubt, the fact that the original novel only had a single toilet in this entire several-hundred-hectare mansion was completely absurd.

Ye Xi suspected this was due to the author never having lived in a house large enough to need more than one toilet, so she must have thought it was only natural that a single toilet would be sufficient…

Ye Xi walked feebly along the wall, occasionally leaning against it for support. However, in less than half a minute, his abdomen released a new wave of sharp, stabbing pain. His sphincter muscles were suddenly at the mercy of a mysterious force crushing against it, and his desire to poop overwhelmed every other sensation.

He pushed open the bathroom door with a loud bang and sprinted towards the diamond toilet like a mad dog, then fixed his gaze on Shen Xiulin, who stood ready to go in front of the toilet. Ye Xi urged as he tapped his foot impatiently, “Hurry up, sir! Hurry up! My belly hurts and I really need to go!”

The corner of Shen Xiulin’s mouth spasmed, he had begun to pee and was not in a position to stop. Next, a column of unstoppable liquid carrying dazzling electric sparks struck the toilet bowl like a thunderbolt.

That was not the most shocking thing though…

“Fuck, sir!” Ye Xi opened his eyes wide while he gawked at Shen Xiulin’s member, forgetting half of his abdominal pain from sheer fright, “Look at the size of that!”

Maintaining his stony expression, Shen Xiulin shook off a few tiny sparks from his penis, or in the words of the original novel, ‘enormous reddish-purple snake1 – as thick as a baby’s arm, fully covered in veins, with the tip the size of a hen’s egg’, then put it back in his pants and asked in a low voice, “What about it?”

Ye Xi took a deep breath, “Nothing, I was just making a casual observation.”

Holy crap, I won’t survive any sex scenes with that thing! Forget about sex, you may as well call it torture! And probably electric shock torture by the looks of it. I wonder what voltage the Chief Executive carries?

Shen Xiulin paused for a moment, then explained, “This is just being faithful to the original novel.”

“I totally understand.” Ye Xi nodded like a madman.

Luckily the original novel didn’t have descriptions like ‘as wide as a dam.’ Otherwise, according to this rotten system’s idea of faithfulness, every time the Chief Executive went to the bathroom, it would probably be like opening the floodgates to a dam for real.

Shen Xiulin buckled his belt and walked out of the bathroom with an enigmatic expression on his face.

After the awkwardness had passed, the wrenching pain from Ye Xi’s abdomen came back in crushing waves. Ye Xi grimaced as sat on the toilet in agony and began his monumental moaning project. Meanwhile, his brain kicked into high gear.

First, I can’t eat anything and everything like I did last night again. If the circumstances allow, I can experiment with eating different amounts of normal food to work out how much would make me uncomfortable: whether my stomach would hurt from eating too much, or whether it would hurt when I only eat a little. If it is the latter, then I’m screwed…

Second, I need to conquer male extras at every possible opportunity. I must earn enough experience points to leave the Quest World before the story progresses into any proper sex scenes. It’s no longer a question of being embarrassed sleeping with my boss, it’s now a matter of life and death!

After dawdling in the bathroom for a while longer, Ye Xi finally felt like he was in a state of pure abdominal pain with nothing left in his body to poop out. So, as he struggled to stand up, he decided to get through the first half of the quest with some opportunistic acting.

After all, I don’t have the Chief Executive’s insane acting skills, so I’ll have to make the most of my bellyache.

Ye Xi’s face was as pale as a sheet. He pushed open the bathroom door and saw Shen Xiulin waiting in the corridor. The worried look on his face was so clear that it could be felt even by someone as imperceptive as Ye Xi – whose awareness was so dense, that figuratively speaking, it would take ten people to wrap their arms around it.

It looks like our Chief Executive got into character already! 

To carry the narrative forward, Ye Xi called out to him in a soft voice, “Huangfu…I don’t feel very well, I want to go to the hospital…”

“Not feeling well?” Shen Xiulin took a step forward and clutched Ye Xi’s slender arm, his brow painfully twisted into a knot. Under the watchful gaze of the attendants and bodyguards around them, he declared with a commanding presence, “From the hair on your head to the toes on your feet, you belong wholly and completely to me. How dare you not feel well without my permission, then make me worry about you?”

Ye Xi fell into an embarrassing silence, as he realised he could not come up with the next line, “…”

The Chief Executive has completely captured the spirit of that idiotic Huangfu X! He deserves full marks for his improvisation skills!

“I’ll take you to the hospital.” Shen Xiulin let out a quiet sigh, then threatened, “But you better not try anything. If you dare run away again, I’ll make you realise what a terrifying thing it is to disobey me.”

Ye Xi weakly promised, “I won’t run away…”

Having completed their scene, the two actors hopped onto a helicopter and flew straight to the hospital.

With the cabin door shut, the two of them were left to their own devices. Shen Xiulin asked with concern, “Does it really hurt so much?”

“Yes.” Ye Xi clutched his belly, his face white as a sheet, “My acting skills are really bad, I’m not acting at all.”

Shen Xiulin seemed to have remembered something and slightly furrowed his brow.

“It hurts, sss…” Ye Xi wanted to cry but was too afraid to, “I won’t eat that much ever again.”

“Lie down, I’ll massage it for you.” Without giving Ye Xi the opportunity to protest, Shen Xiulin set Ye Xi down and let him rest his head in his lap. Shen Xiulin gently pressed his palm on Ye Xi’s belly and began to rub clockwise. The warmth from his palm and the gentle pressure began to relieve some of Ye Xi’s pain.

Since Ye Xi was in so much discomfort, he had completely disregarded the fact that he was receiving a massage from his boss. His limbs were so weak and limp, it was as if his bones had been stripped out, Ye Xi could not have done it himself even if he tried. So, not only did Ye Xi graciously accept Shen Xiulin’s massage, he began to give Shen Xiulin instructions as he moaned, “Lower, sir, mmm…left, mmm…harder…ah, that’s it, just like that…”

The tip of Shen Xiulin’s eyebrows quivered. He paused the movement of his hand as a strange expression crept onto his face.

“Sir, don’t stop…” Ye Xi paltrily covered the back of Shen Xiulin’s hand with his palm and muttered, “Please keep going.”

Shen Xiulin swallowed hard, he pushed Ye Xi’s head lower down his thigh, then renewed the movement of his hand.

“Does it feel good?” Shen Xiulin asked.

Ye Xi answered truthfully, “Yes, it feels great.”

Shen Xiulin, “How great?”

Ye Xi half closed his eyes, “It feels fantastic.”

Shen Xiulin, “Shall I rub a little faster?”

Ye Xi, “No, this is perfect.”

Shen Xiulin, “How’s the pressure? Shall I rub a little harder?”

Ye Xi, “No, I can’t take any more pressure.”

Shen Xiulin chuckled softly with a hint of glee and quiet sultriness.

The helicopter arrived at the hospital in no time.

Based on Ye Xi’s vague recollection of the original novel, this was a private hospital for the elite class of this world. The hospital received all sorts of high society elites and was home to some of the best doctors in the world. However, since the medical bill was as high as the skies above, the average person could not afford to be treated here. The original novel left a distinct impression in Ye Xi’s memory when the author boasted that treating a mere common cold at this hospital was enough to send the average tycoon bankrupt.

Why hasn’t such a corrupt hospital been shut down by the authorities? Ye Xi remembered thinking to himself when he first read the novel.

However, this level of absurdity could no longer stir up any emotions inside Ye Xi.

When they stepped off the helicopter, Ye Xi and Shen Xiulin were ushered into the hospital by their bodyguards like a king and queen 2, while they walked hand-in-hand on the red carpet which overlaid the hospital’s crystal floor. An attendant registered for Ye Xi at the front desk. He returned with the attending doctor’s card along with the registration receipt on a silver platter, and politely stopped in front of Shen Xiulin, “Young Master, it’s the number one gastroenterologist in the world, Doctor Xuanyuan.”

Hahahahaha, this is so fucking ridiculous! Why is every single detail in the story a ploy? Ye Xi’s mouth curved and almost cracked up laughing.

With a solemn nod, Shen Xiulin maintained his perfect icy expression, “He’ll do.”

So the attendant led the way. Huangfu’s several thousand bodyguards had divided into three groups. The first group formed a protective barrier and followed Ye Xi and Shen Xiulin to the doctor’s office. The other two groups had surrounded the Internal Medicine building as well as the area outside the hospital, forming a protective barrier so tight that not even a fly could escape.

Ye Xi, “…”

Fucking hell, how am I supposed to escape later?

Shen Xiulin gently pinched Ye Xi’s waist.

Ye Xi looked up at him, Shen Xiulin bent down slightly and pressed his lips to Ye Xi’s ear. In voice that only Ye Xi could hear, he said, “I’ll try to get rid of them.”

Reassured, Ye Xi nodded. Once the quest was activated, Shen Xiulin would be able to see his map location on the system interface. If Shen Xiulin did not want to catch Ye Xi, he could divert the bodyguards away from Ye Xi’s location.

When they arrived outside Doctor Xuanyuan’s office, the attendants pushed open each side of its hefty golden door.

Inside the office, a young doctor, whose face was no less beautiful than Shen Xiulin, looked up at Ye Xi. At the same time, a semi-opaque character profile appeared next to him.

Name: Xuanyuan X

Role: Doctor

Character Summary: The number one gastroenterologist in the world. Each of his eighteen forefathers were also respected physicians, he is a gorgeous man from a family of doctors. Since his youth, the doctor has been singularly focused on advancing his medical skills. There is almost nothing that can divert his gaze away from his medical journals, nothing except…

Ye Xi’s eyes lit up like a thief as he stared at Doctor Xuanyuan.

Male extra! A male extra has appeared! Holy crap, that’s gonna be a whole load of human-shaped experience points!

Shen Xiulin’s piercing gaze carefully examined the suddenly exuberant Ye Xi. He grimaced, then markedly squeezed Ye Xi on the waist.

 

Author’s Notes:

The little princess with low IQ and EQ is preparing his conquest of the new male extra…

In order to become conquered, the male’s extra’s IQ and EQ has to be even lower, hahahahaha…

(The chief executive: I’m not happy about this, better get ready for some thunder.)

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Translator Notes:

  1. The original text says dragon. I changed it so it is more familiar to a western audience since a Chinese dragon has a snake’s body, and a western dragon doesn’t.
  2. The original text says “emperor and empress”, I changed so it is more familiar to a western audience.
J. (Translator)

J. (Translator)

Loves to read and translate webnovels about fantasy, sci-fi, pop culture and video games.

If you enjoy my translations, please feel free to buy me a coffee (or hot green tea) at ko-fi.com/jscarlet

You can also checkout my blog at jtranslationscn.wordpress.com

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4 Comments
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Squishy
January 3, 2021 7:50 am

This is just ridiculous in the best way.
Thank you for your hard work!

Adlt1226
January 3, 2021 1:58 pm

Ye Xi didn’t even notice he’d been engaging in dirty talk with Shen Xiulin because of his tummy ache 😂 Thanks for the update!

Rxya
Rxya
January 4, 2021 4:58 am

Either Ye Xi is too innocent for this world or too dense. Not even realizing he was doing dirty talks . 😂

Sslws7
March 24, 2021 10:49 pm

Lol that conversation! Thank you for the chapter.

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